The Shamwow Guy, the most irritating thing I've seen in a while, had some trouble with a hooker in Florida.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0408091sham1.html
Thursday, April 9, 2009
The Corrective Shoes....And An Old Friend
Since getting used to my corrective shoes (Z Coil--I would recommend them to EVERYONE) I have noticed that I am jogging a lot more. Well, the addition of the Ipod to the whole routine certainly helped.....the music keeps my mind off all the pain.
Today I jogged a couple of miles easily, and I really felt like I could keep going!
I am sure the passing traffic noticed I was singing along to Depeche Mode. I just can't get enough.....
But then I ran into an old friend. Remember this guy?
When Jack removed Mr. Snake from the pool area, he merely deposited him across the street in the empty lot. I immediately knew this was a bad idea, because Mr. Snake could and would easily come for revenge. This morning as I jogged I ran right into Mr. Snake as he lay next to the curb. He wasn't moving, so he was either dead or sunning himself.
I just kept running.
Today I jogged a couple of miles easily, and I really felt like I could keep going!
I am sure the passing traffic noticed I was singing along to Depeche Mode. I just can't get enough.....
But then I ran into an old friend. Remember this guy?
When Jack removed Mr. Snake from the pool area, he merely deposited him across the street in the empty lot. I immediately knew this was a bad idea, because Mr. Snake could and would easily come for revenge. This morning as I jogged I ran right into Mr. Snake as he lay next to the curb. He wasn't moving, so he was either dead or sunning himself.
I just kept running.
Who is This Idiot?
We went out for margaritas and tacos when my good friend Jessi came to town this week. Especially fun for me, because, well, I really have no friends around here.
As we headed down to Javelina (the BEST American food that pretends it's Mexican food....)
we noticed the sky darkening. Oooooh!!! Maybe some precipitation in our future!!!
Our first order of business was to consult the margarita menu. Jessi took care of the reading:
The tacos were lovely:
And apparently they put tequila in our margaritas:
As we headed down to Javelina (the BEST American food that pretends it's Mexican food....)
we noticed the sky darkening. Oooooh!!! Maybe some precipitation in our future!!!
Our first order of business was to consult the margarita menu. Jessi took care of the reading:
The tacos were lovely:
And apparently they put tequila in our margaritas:
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I Am The Dog Whisperer
I know what's gonna happen--since I titled the blog with Dog Whisperer all these people will be coming here via Google because they were looking for that fruitcake Caesar who THINKS he's the Dog Whisperer. No matter.
I have proof. Unedited PROOF, unlike Caesar who has his efforts edited tremendously.
I got an email a couple of months ago from a woman who needed a dog sitter. She mentioned in her email that her dog was a bit "special."
Special is being kind, actually. He's a Chihuaha who has never been socialized. So he is extremely centered around his owner. Everyone else in the world is an enemy, in his mind. He bites, he does circles as a nervous habit, (he'll go for an hour if you let him) and he is not potty trained in the least bit. He has to wear a diaper in the house because he simply cannot be potty trained.
When I met him last week, he couldn't stop barking at me. That shrill, insistant yap that a Chihuaha has. And his owner had to restrain him because he wanted to bite at every exposed bit of skin I had. Ankles, fingers, face, whatever.
After about 45 minutes he calmed down. But still wouldn't let me approach him. His owner showed me his diapers, which have to be changed several times a day, and his leash, because he needs to be walked. That means I'd have to find a creative way to touch him without being bitten. Hmmm....
On Sunday I was bitten several times. I was wearing gloves, but ol' Bailey managed to get my ankles. Every time I turned my back on him, he bit. And I had to chase him around the house to change his diaper. That was about 20 minutes. Putting on his leash was the most difficult because I had to have my face near his. I really did not want a dog bite on the face.
After two days of walking, feeding, diaper changing, Bailey had warmed up to me.
So today I thought I'd prove just how good of friends we'd become:
He was actually begging me to pick him up, and loved having his back scratched.
And of course he likes the kisses:
I am the Dog Whisperer.
I have proof. Unedited PROOF, unlike Caesar who has his efforts edited tremendously.
I got an email a couple of months ago from a woman who needed a dog sitter. She mentioned in her email that her dog was a bit "special."
Special is being kind, actually. He's a Chihuaha who has never been socialized. So he is extremely centered around his owner. Everyone else in the world is an enemy, in his mind. He bites, he does circles as a nervous habit, (he'll go for an hour if you let him) and he is not potty trained in the least bit. He has to wear a diaper in the house because he simply cannot be potty trained.
When I met him last week, he couldn't stop barking at me. That shrill, insistant yap that a Chihuaha has. And his owner had to restrain him because he wanted to bite at every exposed bit of skin I had. Ankles, fingers, face, whatever.
After about 45 minutes he calmed down. But still wouldn't let me approach him. His owner showed me his diapers, which have to be changed several times a day, and his leash, because he needs to be walked. That means I'd have to find a creative way to touch him without being bitten. Hmmm....
On Sunday I was bitten several times. I was wearing gloves, but ol' Bailey managed to get my ankles. Every time I turned my back on him, he bit. And I had to chase him around the house to change his diaper. That was about 20 minutes. Putting on his leash was the most difficult because I had to have my face near his. I really did not want a dog bite on the face.
After two days of walking, feeding, diaper changing, Bailey had warmed up to me.
So today I thought I'd prove just how good of friends we'd become:
He was actually begging me to pick him up, and loved having his back scratched.
And of course he likes the kisses:
I am the Dog Whisperer.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Something Besides Snakes
Driving on Saturday (to the airport, where else?) we saw this on the street:
He was headed to a "thing" at the local horse stables. Said he was going to be pulling the hay ride.
Then we went to the airport and put the airplane back together.
We went for a flight!
So, proof that the plane works after all. How exciting!
Here's our approach to the runway:
After landing safely we headed home for dinner. And the "Roast of Larry The Cable Guy." So it was like a date, I guess.
He was headed to a "thing" at the local horse stables. Said he was going to be pulling the hay ride.
Then we went to the airport and put the airplane back together.
We went for a flight!
So, proof that the plane works after all. How exciting!
Here's our approach to the runway:
After landing safely we headed home for dinner. And the "Roast of Larry The Cable Guy." So it was like a date, I guess.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Oh And Here's Another Thing to Be Scared Of
Brandy and R.J. are coming out here in June, just when things start to get REALLY hot. We'll probably want to go swimming once or twice.
Well guess what? Rattlesnakes like to go swimming, too.
http://bassfan.com/tv_play.asp?id=119
My stepdad has actually had a rattlesnake hop up onto the back of his slow-moving boat out on the lake.
Well guess what? Rattlesnakes like to go swimming, too.
http://bassfan.com/tv_play.asp?id=119
My stepdad has actually had a rattlesnake hop up onto the back of his slow-moving boat out on the lake.
Sorry To Do This, But...
This is how damaged I am from my snake experience the other day.
When I lay down at night to go to sleep, this is all I can see in my mind:
And this:
I realize those are rattlesnake pictures, but unfortunately that's the snake that's stuck in my head. I'm terrified of them. I can just imagine the hot, sharp pain of a rattlesnake bite. And having to pull the damn thing off my arm. And trying to get to the hospital before my arm inflates to the size of Mr. Sta-Puff.
I haven't had nightmares or anything, I've just had a real difficult time falling asleep. And of course I won't check the pool skimmer anymore.
We're gonna have to hire someone.
Or I'm gonna have to get counseling.
When I lay down at night to go to sleep, this is all I can see in my mind:
And this:
I realize those are rattlesnake pictures, but unfortunately that's the snake that's stuck in my head. I'm terrified of them. I can just imagine the hot, sharp pain of a rattlesnake bite. And having to pull the damn thing off my arm. And trying to get to the hospital before my arm inflates to the size of Mr. Sta-Puff.
I haven't had nightmares or anything, I've just had a real difficult time falling asleep. And of course I won't check the pool skimmer anymore.
We're gonna have to hire someone.
Or I'm gonna have to get counseling.
Fun Things To Do On A Sunday
Since Monday is actually my cleaning day at home, Sunday is generally reserved for whatever Steve wants to do.
It usually involves one of his ongoing projects.
How many projects are there?
Well, there's
1. The semi truck (been restoring it since he bought it in August 2005
2. The Maverick (his little race car that's been dismantled for 1 year)
3. The nuts and bolts (huge collection of bins of bolts that he obtained from a closing hardware store. he's been sorting them and labeling the bins for 5 years)
4. The airplane (bought in December, dismantled in January)
5. The Chopper (bitchin motorcycle that he dismantled many years ago, maybe 7)
6. The house (periodically he will become tired of something and dismantle it. last time this happened it was the kitchen. today he started on the master bath)
Today we're at the airport, because he wants to work on the plane and the Maverick. I have been sitting at the computer for 4 hours now and I haven't seen him touch either project. I am so glad I'm not on a time schedule today.
But when we finally get home, he will remember that he took apart the bathroom sink. And he'll wonder what possessed his brain to do that. I heard him say at one point that he's tired of the counter top in the bathroom. Uh-oh, I smell another Baghdad situation coming along......
It usually involves one of his ongoing projects.
How many projects are there?
Well, there's
1. The semi truck (been restoring it since he bought it in August 2005
2. The Maverick (his little race car that's been dismantled for 1 year)
3. The nuts and bolts (huge collection of bins of bolts that he obtained from a closing hardware store. he's been sorting them and labeling the bins for 5 years)
4. The airplane (bought in December, dismantled in January)
5. The Chopper (bitchin motorcycle that he dismantled many years ago, maybe 7)
6. The house (periodically he will become tired of something and dismantle it. last time this happened it was the kitchen. today he started on the master bath)
Today we're at the airport, because he wants to work on the plane and the Maverick. I have been sitting at the computer for 4 hours now and I haven't seen him touch either project. I am so glad I'm not on a time schedule today.
But when we finally get home, he will remember that he took apart the bathroom sink. And he'll wonder what possessed his brain to do that. I heard him say at one point that he's tired of the counter top in the bathroom. Uh-oh, I smell another Baghdad situation coming along......
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