Funny One, Gotta Love the Berts and Ernies

This is a video I was directed to thru a friend of a friend of a friend on Facebook. And I laughed so hard I nearly spit out my coffee....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21OH0wlkfbc

Thank You Arnold

If a picture like this can exist, and not hold a homie back from becoming Governor, then darnit that gives me lots of hope.

I don't have a picture of myself like this.

But I do believe I want a shirt like his, that says, "Steve is Numero Uno."

Snooty Ville

We're planning out our August and thinking ahead of how we're going to pack for the different things we have planned.
One of the trips is to Northern California, for the Pebble Beach car show. They don't call it a car show, to them it's the "Concours d'Elegance."
We're going as staff members, like we did last year. Steve's boss was invited to show a very rare Packard that he'd acquired, and I believe this year he's been invited once again for another rare Packard he bought. We were the staff responsible for transporting the vehicle from L.A. to Pebble Beach in the semi truck, and of course that's enough stress in itself. Another stressful job is done by Robert Espinoza, who shows the car. Seriously, in order to look halfway decent to the judges, you have to have a staff showing the car. And that staff has to be completely knowledgeable about every single aspect of the vehicle. Every nut and bolt, the reason for every bit of the design, etc.
Last year I dressed in business casual, and I looked like a total slob compared to the rest of the people. I didn't wear my comfy shoes or my comfy sweater (it was 60 degrees and we were freezing to death) I wore business clothes. And I was SHUNNED for my lack of fashion.
Here's what I was up against:



And this:



Snooty bastards.

Oh incidentally, I am in that photo. I am in the window on the right, above the stage. Steve's boss reserved a very nice suite in order for us to watch the awards ceremony. Even in the suite, we were freezing. Steve bundled up in a blanket and hibernated for quite a while. I drank everything I could get my hands on.

One thing I remember certainly is the raffles. In Havasu, the car shows have raffles and the winners typically get a t shirt, a car cover, or a gift certificate for a free meal at Denny's. At the "Concours d'Elegance," the raffle tickets are $100 each and the prizes are Rolex watches and Mercedes and BMW's. Not kidding. We were shocked. At Pebble Beach, Jay Leno did the presentation of the raffle winners. In Havasu, I AM THE ONE DOING THE PRESENTATION. That's quite a difference.
In Havasu, a decent breast augmentation gets you lots of attention and friends at the car show. At Pebble Beach, it will get you dirty looks. So I have ordered the following from Ebay:

A Snooty McSnooterson red wool blazer.....



And a pair of Salvatore Ferragamo Italian shoes...



Oh and I'm currently bidding on a Dooney & Bourke handbag, so I can carry around all my drinks and snacks. Because one drink at this show is $10. And I don't even know what snacks cost.

So, set your Teevo for August 17th, I'm going to do my best to get on the live coverage of the awards ceremony. Maybe I'll invest in one of those raffle tickets.

Pissy Mood

Probably not safe to type anything today because I'm pissy.

But okay, I'll type anyway.

I hate walking on eggshells. I hate it when people make me feel like I've got to walk on eggshells. It causes quite a bit of resentment.

If people are so sensitive about one thing or another, then maybe they need to open up their eyes and learn that they don't exactly live in a bubble. It's called....LIFE.

Here's A Good One

One of the best version of Folsom Prison that I've ever heard:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDbAxhV2ofM&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Edlisted%2Ecom%2F&feature=player_embedded

Little Lizard Rescue

You know how I feel about reptiles. Remember, I had a complete global meltdown when a snake appeared in the pool skimmer.
Well today I was cleaning the pool and I noticed something very tiny on the side. Not hanging over the edge of the pool, but actually sticking to the pool just above the waterline.
It was a teeeny weeenie lizard, holding on somehow. I put my hand over to him and he anxiously climbed on.
Here's how tiny he was:



I told him about our wonderful front porch program that we offer neighborhood lizards, and he just looked at me with his miniscule eyes. We have a fountain, a tree, a bush, and several plants that lizards like to occupy on the front porch AND it's shielded from the afternoon sun. Another plus, it's not Kitty Meow Meow Jackson's territory. He prefers the back yard and side yard. Several lizards gave their life for this information.
I walked all the way around the house to the front porch with this tiny little creature just sitting calmly in my hand. This was such unusual behavior for a lizard, they're never sitting still. I think he was appreciating the gesture.

But then as we got to our destination, he got all excited and decided to run up my arm and into my hair. This is where I quietly had a panick attack. "Lizard in my hair. Lizard in my hair. No. No. No. No."
I couldn't smack at him because he was such a tiny little delicate thing. So I calmly located him near my right ear and put him down on the porch. And there he sat for a while, checking out the habitat. And then I had the willies for a while.

Three Wolf Full Moon Shirt, Celebrity Alert

Michael Jackson's ex, wearing the magical shirt once again. And NOW it looks faded like she's been wearing it a lot!!!

That's it. I'm going to Ebay right now to get one.

Not So Easy Pasta

I wish I was clever enough to come up with easy-to-make recipes, like Rachel Ray, but I can't. I can, however, download recipes from Pioneer Woman and make them in my kitchen. And take photos of said attempts. And post them so you'll be inspired to make something yummy as well.

So, why can't I make my own recipes? I think Steve doesn't trust my judgement.

At the grocery store I'm always on the lookout for discounted vegetables because they're ready to spoil. Especially the bell peppers. And the zucchini. You can cut off the bad parts and still use them for stuff like pasta, and zucchini bread.
This week I found 5 red bell peppers for 99 cents, because they looked wilted.

This is what I did.

I took them out into the 115 degree heat and roasted them on the grill.


Mmmmm...roasty....



Then I put them in a ziploc bag for about a 1/2 hour so they could steam....



I left them outside for this so they wouldn't cool off too quickly in the house. I wanted those suckers cooked really good.

While they steamed outside, I chopped up a sweet onion and sauteed it with some garlic in butter. And I had a beer.


Then I peeled the skins off, and placed them in the blender. Gotta be sure to get the guts removed, otherwise you'll be chomping on seeds.



Only blending for about 45 seconds, before pouring them into the pan with the onions and garlic. At the same time, I'm boiling the cute little bowtie pasta.



And just for shits and gigs (okay, name THAT movie) I added a little cream to the sauce to give it some body. I also put about 1/2 a tablespoon of of oregano, and a teaspoon of pepper in there.



Since we LOOOOOVE our vegetables, we each had a heaping pile of snowpeas with our pasta. And since we LOOOOVE our cheese, we sprinkled parmesan.



I started this little project at 4:30, and we began eating at 6:00. It took 10 minutes to eat. Yeah, effective use of time.

The Chopper Lives! It LIVES!!!

When I first started seeing Steve I jokingly called him the Chopper Whore because he was and still is a chopper pilot. Even when his chosen profession had nearly snuffed him out, he continued to whore himself out for helicopter flights just because he loved to fly THAT much.
But then things progressed and I was eventually granted entry into his shop. I saw a motorcycle lift much like the ones on the Discovery Channel show American Chopper, with a dissassembled chopper sitting on it. (NOOOOO dissassemble! Noooo! Name THAT 80's awful movie...)
When I asked about it, he said it was his project he'd been working on.
"Wow," I thought to myself. A project like that takes some real know-how. Steve must've been a real mechanically inclined person to take on something so complicated.
And I was right, he's a very mechanically inclined person. He has rewired entire semi trucks on his own and completely rebuilt complex machines of which I can't even begin to think of the complexities.
But what he didn't tell me is how long that chopper bike had been sitting DISSASSEMBLED. (No dissassemble Stephanie! Go ahead, name that terrible movie)
He took it apart in 2002, because he wanted to change it to a single seat instead of one made for two people. He never had a rider with him so he decided to get rid of the queen seat and put a little one on it. He also got inspired by Paul Jr. and Paul Sr. on American Chopper and he wanted to make the gas tank look like a coffin. And that's where the effort ceased.
So, for the past several years I've been urging him to put aside all his other projects so the Chopper could get finished.
The final push was my discovery of a great picture of the Chopper, in the early days. When Steve first got it, in the 90's. He had a mullet, a beard, and a bad attitude. I remember those days, and I remember his red Chopper. And his bad attitude.
Upon discovering that picture, I taped it up on the bathroom mirror and vowed to help him, one hour at a time, to get that poor bike put back together.

And then a miracle happened...
Over a period of 45 days we periodically went out to the shop and tinkered on the bike....
I polished all the chrome that had been somewhat damaged by the swamp cooler out there.....
Steve rewired stuff, assembled stuff, bought some new parts....
Last night we took the bike off the lift, pushed it past all the other half-finished projects.....


And took it for a ride.



The end.

New Platter

It's hardly reason for a new post, but for some reason I found myself obesessed with this platter and I stewed on its existence for quite some time before I made the trek to Dillards to buy it. Quite some time actually equals 6 hours.

It was on sale (of course) and after visiting several stores in our area I determined that it was the best deal and the most awesomest. I'm sure you'll agree.

The International Space Station

I love looking at the skies, especially at night. When Brandy and R.J. were here, I kept insisting on watching for satellites, which frequently cross the starry sky over our back yard. They never saw them.
One night recently I couldn't sleep, so I wandered out to the back patio and lay down to watch for satellites. Kitty Meow Meow Jackson joined me and we soaked up the radiating heat from the so-called "Cool deck" that surrounds the pool. 2am, and the cool deck is still radiating enough heat to feel like an electric heating pad. Hmmm.

I watched what looked like a satellite, but it was much brighter. MUCH brighter. It silently moved across the sky, a bit quicker than a satellite. It moved West to East, then disappeared over the mountains. My heart quickened. Had I seen a UFO? FINALLY???

Then the evening news came on tonight and showed video of what the International Space Station looks like to the naked eye. And that's exactly what I have; Naked Eyes. (name that 80's song....)

I excitedly informed Steve that I had finally solved my UFO conundrum, it was really the Space Station. And how did I do that? I ran around the house yelling, "That's no moon, it's a space station!!!" He didn't get it. Hasn't seen Star Wars as much as I have.

Isn't it cool and kind of disturbing that a person laying on their back patio can see a floating space station from several thousand miles away with their Naked Eyes???
Okay, I'll name that 80's song; "Always Something There to Remind Me...."

On a sort of related note.....did you know that the moon is made of 30 to 60 percent glass, and that's why it's so reflective? Crazy stuff I learned from watching moon documentaries.