OH. MY. GAWD.

I say "Oh my GAWD" because I finally met someone who literally sang the soundtrack to my 21st year. Brian Holland is the lead singer for a rock group called "Offspring." He and his band are still together, though not as popular as they were back in the 90's. They sang "Pretty Fly for a White Guy," and several other tunes that we all would blast on the stereo.
He's a pilot, and has a bitchin hangar next door to my boyfriend's out at the airport. Steve told me about him several years ago, but I've never been lucky enough to meet Brian because he's either taking his private jet out to the taxi-way, or he's driving his truck out of there.
His hangar is bitchin because it's big enough to hold his jet that has an anarchy symbol on the tail fin, his Russian L-39 jet that he flies for fun, and also the two story condo that he had built in there. Steve showed me the condo one day, when Brian was out of town. It has a "patio" out front (although inside the hangar) with a green astroturf lawn and a custom pool table. Then inside, the downstairs has a full bar and big screen t.v. with all kinds of comfy furniture. The upstairs has a master suite, a second bedroom, and two bathrooms. The master suite has a big screen t.v. as well. I guess Brian had all this built in there before he had a house in Havasu. Or maybe it's a guest house or something...
So I finally had the chance to meet him on Saturday. Steve had invited me to tag along on the flight to Calif, to take his boss back home to Santa Ana. As we were getting the lear jet ready, Brian and his co-pilot Mark happened along. I got to meet them both, and they seemed kinda confused about who I was. Mark finally just came right out and asked what I was doing there. When I said I was Steve's girlfriend they kinda got speechless, like, "Dang Steve's a cradle robber!" Too funny.

Post-Post Christmas

My son will never have the Christmas memories that I have. I'm not complaining, because there are some memories I'd rather forget! Sure, there were some good ones, like hiding in Grandma's basement on Christmas Eve while we waited for Santa's arrival. We knew if we sat around upstairs in the living room he'd never come.

But then there's the memories of our parents screaming at each other, right before leaving to go to Grandma's on Christmas Eve. EVERY year, they screamed, threw things at each other, and most times they began the divorce process after these holiday fights. We'd usually go to Grandma's house without our dad. He'd stay home and pack.

I can't complain about our presents, because we always got something. My mom's very materialistic and she would buy all kinds of meaningless, useless crap that would end up in the garbage eventually. (old habits die hard--you should see the junk she bought this year...)
It was the atmosphere. We always had to sit quietly in our bedrooms while my parents either continued their Christmas Eve fight into Christmas day, or they did their own thing in complete silence.

My son's Christmas is a completely different affair. Since we have ex spouses and family of ex spouses, we had a lot of coordinating to do. All three of our kids had at least four destinations on Christmas day, having breakfast here or there, lunch here or there, and dinner in two different places. Opening presents was an all day thing because they had to go from one place to another to do that. Why couldn't it all be at one place, like at our house? That would be too easy.
And to muddy up the water, Steve's ex (Sgt Iron Pants) had to make Christmas all about her by having a "Congratulations Dinner" instead of Christmas dinner--because I guess she either got engaged or married. We're not sure. Her dad wasn't invited to her house, so we invited him to ours. Talk about weird. I made Christmas dinner for Sgt Iron Pant's dad. Some friends of mine came over for dessert, and I just introduced him as George.
What a family we have.

Christmas?

I wish this were my Christmas present...it's not available in the U.S. just yet.
Mark my words, I WILL HAVE MY SMART CAR!!!


Doesn't seem like Christmas is just a few days away.
I finally put the tree up last night, with the fishing lure ornaments and it is GORGEOUS! The redneck tree actually looks really nice. Gotta watch out for the hooks, though. Ow.
It's been really fair weather lately, a little over 60 degrees each day--but that is changing because we have wind today. Not just a breeze, a frikkin 20 mph WIND.
I thought my allergies were gonna get better!!

My brother, Grandpa Johnny

My brother is four years older than me, making him 38. We just found out he is going to be a grandpa in April.

Now, John has never had much good luck, all his life. He had awful acne as a teenager and turned to tattoos to take people's attention away from the scars and sores on his face. He hated authority and especially school so of course he was a dropout as soon as our dad died. Covered in tattoos, no diploma, and the very awful attitude pretty much determined the fate of his young adult life.

When he finally got his first real girlfriend, he'd just turned 18. He was still a virgin (and she was not) so of course they had sex as soon as possible. And she got pregnant. She decided she wanted to keep the baby. They soon broke up, and John shortly after that moved to Arizona. Right after that he was in a motorcycle accident and had to undergo brain surgery and subsequent physical therapy. He was pretty screwed up for a while.
The baby was born and John was court ordered to make child support payments. I think he managed to visit once or twice while the little girl was growing up--but she probably was better off without him in her life so much. Her mother married a guy and John's daughter was brought up in a strict, normal home.
She made contact with me right before her high school graduation this past year, and I was excited to hear about her college plans. I sent money as soon as possible, to help her get started on college. I periodically talked with her or her mom to keep up with things. As I got busy this past summer the communication kinda dropped off. That's when she got pregnant.

It's disappointing to see this girl live out the stupid life that her mother and grandmother lived before her; being a teenage mom in Omaha, Nebraska. It's especially disappointing because some of the conversations I had with her sounded as if she was interested in moving out of there once she finished a couple of years at the community college, so she could possibly go to a University here in Arizona.
We know people who could've really hooked her up with scholarships and grants, and we certainly would've helped her cover the costs.

God, I hate Omaha.

Scoff Law

My current license plate says CHICKA, and it has since I was in high school. I am so tired of it, I decided to order a new one.

SCOF LAW

Of course you have to tell the DMV the reason behind your plate choice, so I wrote, "I don't follow rules."

We'll see if it gets approved.

I'm Building This

So help me GAWD I will find a way, thru sponsors, donors, I don't care....

www.gametruckparty.com

And I will truly be queen of the party.

We saw it driving down the freeway in Phoenix and I think I need one. BADLY.

O

Santa Magic

Every year since I became computer literate, I have made my son's Christmas experience a little more thrilling. There's the NORAD site that tracks Santa's progress on Christmas Eve--we log onto that and check the map to see if it's time to hurry up and get to bed before Santa arrives. And then there's the www.emailsanta.com page that we visit.
Shay fills in a few key words like his name, age, where he lives, what he wants for Christmas, then clicks a button to "email" Santa. Santa immediately replies. "Ho ho ho Shay, glad to hear from ya. Mrs. Claus loves Lake Havasu, it's her favorite place to visit when it's cold up here in the North Pole." Etc, etc.

Shay had come home from school yesterday, kinda worried because his best buddy Andrew said he didn't believe in Santa. Now, I'm not quite ready to take Santa away from Shay, it seems to keep him a little more innocent. I didn't know what to say to calm his worries, though. It was his idea to email Santa, so we did after dinner.

Santa mentioned in his email back to Shay that, "I'm sure you're hearing some things from kids at school about me, but don't worry about that." Shay was absolutely stunned.
"He MUST BE REAL!! OH MY GOD! He knew what Andrew had said about him!!"
And what's really neat is, the emailsanta site already knew to stick that in the letter because of Shay's age. Kids naturally start that doubting stuff when they're 10.

We printed the email and Shay put it in his backpack to take to school this morning. He'll show it to Andrew and then that'll be the big buzz around the classroom. "Shay's got an email from Santa...."

In addition to the emailing thing on the site, there's photo galleries of the North Pole, the elves homes, the workshop, Santa's house, and lots of snow. It's probably just a village in Sweden or somethin, but Shay was floored. "Oh my GOD there's Santa's house!!!"

So I guess this means I'm Santa, for one more year....

Nobody Cares

Unless they're reading this, that is.

Good news, I have nearly all my Christmas shopping done. My son is very easy to shop for, and quite predictable right now. The only thing left for him is some new bedding for his bunk bed, and then some candy for his stocking.
I did ask him the other day what he would like for Christmas and he said a Playstation 3. Yeah, that's not happening. I'll let one of his other gift sources put out the money for that. He has me, his dad, his dad's parents, my parents, and his extended family who all buy stuff for him. That's something I'm COMPLETELY grateful for. When I was growing up, we didn't have that much family living near us.

Since I put so much thought and preparation into Steve's birthday, I am drawing a blank on his Christmas gift. Something came to me this morning but it will take a small loan from my boss to pull it off. And a couple of months of payments.

Well...

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/health/2007/11/27/blankenfield.ut.boy.antler.ktvx

I guess I can be thankful when my son was five years old he merely broke his leg when he fell. This kid definitely should be on the cover of "Freak Accident" magazine....

Being Grown Ups

Since my son was with his dad on a camping trip, and Steve's daughters went with their mom on a camping trip of their own, we decided to be grown ups after Thanksgiving. Didn't go to any Black Friday sales, mostly because we just haven't gotten into that "go into debt" spirit of overspending on Christmas.
We took the Cobra helicopter to Phoenix for an airshow. That's the one in the picture above, it's the helicopter Steve flew in the Austin Powers movie.
It only seats two people, one in the front and one in the back--Steve flew from the back seat. Riding in the front is so wierd, mostly because when the Cobra flies it tilts forward quite a bit and gives you the feeling that you're going to fall forward out of the cockpit.

And since our friends in Phoenix all have adult children, that meant we were hanging out with adults all weekend. What a strange feeling. We went to a nice gentlemen's club and had a lap dance (after we finished our dinner--they have great steak and pasta) and we spent a couple of hours on Saturday doing whatever we wanted to do. We stopped by a Smart Car dealer and went for a test drive. OMG I want that car!
We browsed an antique book store. We ate great BBQ. Went to a hoity-toity night club with Steve's rich friends and watched with great amusement as they did the stereotypical inspection of wine labels with their reader glasses before they reluctantly ordered the $165 wine. (Man, wouldn't you feel stupid throwing up THAT booze???)

Flew home on Sunday afternoon, and buzzed Shay. He had been spending the afternoon at Grandma's so we called ahead and told him to come outside. His grandma was much more excited about it than he was! As we made our way thru the neighborhoods to the airport, my cell phone began buzzing with all the voicemails and test messages from friends who saw us fly over. Too funny.
We were super-happy to get home and sleep in our own bed. It felt like we'd been gone for a week!

Bad News

Our uncommonly warm November just turned to friggin cold today. I had to very sadly turn off the cooler to the house, because our "high" temp was 71.
Yes, I know, all you midwesterners are saying "Boo Frikkity Hoo!!"

T day

While everyone else seems to be getting ready for their T day, my T day is turning out to be "Truck Day" because I'm hustling to get some very important things done for an upcoming truck show I'm producing.
I'm trying to get grant money from the city to help pay for advertising, and they've got me jumping thru hoops.
Have no fear, we'll still have a Thanksgiving dinner--it'll just be accompanied by lots of truck discussions.

I am The Birthday Queen

Even though it's not my Birthday, I must proclaim my throne. I've apparently figured out how to make a Birthday party exactly what it needs to be.
Steve's daughter's 16th b-day went off with very few snags, and she seemed to be really happy about it.
The chef at the restaurant put together a GORGEOUS cake that could have rivaled something from that Ace of Cakes show. Holy cow, I was expecting a plain old chocolate cake. He really went overboard. I wish I had a picture of it, but my camera was out of film by the time the cake came around. And since the cake was a little late (it was an hour after we'd finished dinner, and we were STILL waiting for them to bring it out) they kept giving me free Martinis. Never had a Martini before then. Kinda interesting. I had one called the "Whodunit" it had red rum and O.J. in it. GET IT??? Ahahahahaha!!!

Hard Work

This is the work we're doing this weekend; a photo shoot for a new boating magazine. I can't believe the weather--it's over 80 degrees and we're one week away from Thanksgiving! Weird. I guess I'm still used to that Iowa B.S....below freezing and cold as hell.
The guy in the boat is my boss, Todd. His hair is as long as mine!

The bridge

If you look really hard, you can find my office waaaaay in the background!

Giving In to the Man

I'm normally a do-it-yourselfer but I'm actually TOO BUSY to host another birthday extravaganza. Steve's younger daughter turns 16 on Sunday, and she just told us the other day that she's not planning on going out with her friends or boyfriend. Huh?

That means she's expecting us to put something together. (could it be she expects the same bonanza that her dad got for his 50th??hmmmm??) But, since I'm working several days straight, right up to her birthday, I went ahead and made arrangements with a local night club to do something for me. It's a very nice, upscale place called Martini Bay, and it is on the water next to the London Bridge. The view at night with all the lights is amazing. In fact, I'll see if I have a picture...

Anyway, they have a very posh meeting room that has a huge banquet table, aweseome chairs, and classy decor--it's called the Decadence Room. They're reserving the room for our party, and the chef is baking some sort of triple chocolate birthday cake. The party guests will get to order off the menu, which is typically expensive but if you add up everything I would've spent to have a nice party, it's a bargain.

My Stevie's Birthday Pictures

Okay I'm finally getting around to posting pictures from the big party....
The first is my boss's dog, Rocko, sporting his new bouquet of balloons:



This is the scooter that gave me stomach aches and grey hairs.


This is Steve and his two daughters.

Oh, Did I Mention Sheriff Joe??

I met the famous Sheriff Joe Arpaio a couple of weeks ago, at a Republican convention thingy. I know you've heard of him... people circulate stories about him on the internet, how he makes the overflow prisoners stay in a "tent city" in the desert since the State of Arizona really has no money to build more prisons. He makes them wear pink underwear so they won't feel like they should steal them when they leave. If ground beef is too expensive, prisoners eat ostrich or whatever meat is affordable. Prisoners have the option of working on the chain gang out in the heat; if not, they can stay in the tent city and do nothing. No porno magazines, no cable t.v., no amenities.

Joe didn't smile for our picture, because that "mean" look is his thing. He said so. He could've at least made it look like he was okay with getting a picture with me.....

Standin On a Corner In Winslow, Arizona...

What a trip! I thought I was going to be bored. We drove the whole way out from Arizona to La Grange, Indiana in Steve's boss's semi truck--stopping each night wherever we made it to.

Homemade cheeses, smoked meats, Amish peanut butter, and food, food, food.
And we learned all about the Amish people, which was quite an eye-opener. I guess I figured these people would be hiding in their little simple Amish homes, away from all the cars, congestion, tourists, and shopping. WRONG! Their houses are quite large, and beautiful, and modern looking. And they're situated among the regular houses of the community. The only way you can tell the difference is there's no electric wires going to the house.
The Amish people own businesses, including tourist destinations, they work among the rest of the community in the factories, they go out to dinner just like anyone else, they use computers, they ride in cars, and they even hire workers to do stuff for them--like lawn care!!! We saw a lawn care guy working at an Amish house. Too funny.
They can do all these things, as long as they don't OWN any of these modern day conveniences. Borrowed computers, telephones, tractors, rides in other people's cars are okay. Just don't OWN any of that. What a bunch of moochers.

Most of them seemed to get around in their little black horse buggies, or bicycles.
We were fascinated with the horse buggies. There's actually hitching posts at grocery stores and convenience stores, so the Amish buggies can roll on in!

We were lucky to have great weather, right up till the day we left, which was Saturday. We dropped Steve's boss's semi truck at the shop that's doing some customizing to it, and Steve's boss picked us up and flew us home in his private jet.
We entertained ourselves all the way home with our jokes and stories.

In a few weeks the truck will be done and we'll be flying out to pick it up. The sleeper that's being put on it is larger than a motorhome I once owned! Fancy, too.
It's going to be a show truck, and the first show it'll be in is the one I'm having in the spring.

Halloween Cut Short

I put my Halloween decorations up on the 22nd, then had to leave town for a three day conference. So my beautiful Jack O Lanterns were only lit up one night!

The Bug Guy's Here!

Once a month the bug guy sprays around the exterior of the house. I've NEVER lived anywhere where that was done, I always did it myself if I felt it necessary. Buy the spray, mix the solution, put it in the sprayer, then get to work. Steve pays a guy to do that. It's just another thing I am trying to get used to. I actually got him to fire the pool guy, though. That saved $80 per month. Now I'm the pool guy.

It's not that he's lazy, he's just making his life easier, since his accident. He still does an amazing amount of stuff for someone who's technically a paraplegic. (did I even spell that right?) It always astounds me to hear of people who don't do shit, yet they have full function of their entire body. "I hurt my wrist so I went on disability." Huh?

But, back to the bug thing.....
I'm glad there's someone else taking on that job, because here in the desert we have ickies like scorpions and centipedes. Either one can sneak into the house at night and sting you in your sleep. Last summer when Steve noticed a huge bug bite on his leg, he thought it would just go away. (he didn't feel the initial "sting" because his legs are numb) After a few days the bite grew into a huge problem--and when he went to the doctor he was put on antibiotics and skin medicines. Centipede and scorpion stings turn into staph infections--which can kill you.
He had to blame the bug guy for that one--because we eventually found a dead centipede under the bed. Here's one that'll creep you out, though. Centipedes are known for sneaking into the house thru the air conditioning vents. I've actually seen it myself--our air vents are in the ceiling, and they drop down from the vent onto the floor, bed, whatever is below. EWWWWWW!!! Now, it's not like there's a parade of icky bugs around here--but I've seen it happen.
That's enough to make ya pay the bug guy to come back a couple of extra times!

This last weekend I drove to Vegas for an American Cancer Society training meeting. It was informative, really, and that's not what I was expecting. Sometimes I get the attitude that I know it all. Turns out I don't. They surprised me with an award presentation for fundraising achievements, I was quite shocked! And, since Starbucks is officially an American Cancer Society corporate partner, they provided huge amounts of free coffee and espresso for us all to enjoy throughout the day. Yay!

Sunday, we went out on the lake for a three hour tour. Steve was recently given a boat that belonged to his aunt and uncle. It's not new, by any means, but it's in great shape. Really, it looks like the SS Minnow to me. It's big, white, and it has windshield wipers. It's ironic that Steve's aunt and uncle gave him this boat, because it's exactly what he's been wishing for, for a couple of years. On cold, windy days, he would say, "This would be a perfect day to take a cabin-boat out on the lake. We could anchor in a nice quiet cove, bring lunch, read a book, take a nap...." This boat is exactly what he wanted. You can either steer it from up on the roof, or down in the cabin that's completely closed in with big windows. It has a dining area, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, and a helm with a thousand buttons that light up. No idea what any of them are for. The only work I need to do is update the colors inside. It needs more lighter color, like on the walls and curtains. Too much blue right now.
Since we enjoy the same friggin' 50 mph winds that southern california gets (except we're too smart to build where there's high risk of fire) we had the perfect windy cool day on Sunday. It was 60 degrees, and there wasn't a soul on the lake. Took the Minnow out for its maiden voyage and actually had a very nice time. Sandwiches, chips, beer, some magazines, and a very nice cove all to ourselves.
At 5pm, we took it back to the marina so we could teach ourselves how to get the boat back on the trailer in very high winds. Not too shabby!

This week we're doing last minute stuff so we can leave for Indiana on Sunday. I have a Republican Women's conference in Phoenix for three days starting on Thursday, so I have just today and tomorrow to finish what's on my list. It's going to be a very cold trip to Indiana, and I'm not sure if I even have clothing that's appropriate for it!
We're driving Steve's boss's semi truck back there, because they're putting a custom made sleeper on it. I guess the only place that could do it right is the one in Indiana. Originally, the trip was supposed to be in August but the comapany doing the paint job on the truck couldn't get it done in time. So here we go; driving to the midwest when it's friggin cold. It's 80 degrees here, and we're going away from it?

Rest, Rejuvinate, Recover

That's what I'd like to do; but I haven't been able to YET!!! Except for a little bit yesterday afternoon where I sat down and watched a movie while my son did his homework...
I've got to brag that our last event of the summer went off like fireworks, well planned fireworks that is. We rocked it. I thought I broke my ribs when I fell down Saturday afternoon, but it's starting to feel better now so I suppose it was just a bruise. We had only one employee working the event with us and he apparently has epilespy. I didn't know this until he siezed at the banquet that night. He fell straight down off the stage (luckily it was a low stage) and busted his face up pretty good.
He was alright once he got upright and out in the fresh air. But he went home and we had to break down all the stuff and load it ourselves. This wouldn't have been so awful if we hadn't been so tired. After busting our asses all day, it was the last thing we wanted to do. Finally got that all done at midnight, then towed the equipment trailers out to the airport so we could set up first thing in the morning for the birthday party.
I was lucky to have some relatives who I delagated things to. I had already paid for all the food, so they went and picked that up for me. The chairs were rented, and dropped off the day before. The tables actually were a combination of borrowed ones from family and some from my boss. I gave the balloons to Steve's daughter and she got them inflated. We had something like 100 yellow and black balloons and once they were done it was FABULOUS. Yellow drapes and yellow table covers really made a difference too. We had the bitchin sound system set up, and the projector was set up so we could show the little video I made, with about 200 old pictures of Steve with his family. He gave me a huge thumbs up for that one, since the majority of the family that came were from his mom's side--and they never have an organized family reunion. We put up the bounce house and the Hot Wheels drag strip that we use at events and that was definitely a great idea--the kids were happy and busy so that kept their parents happy.
I had everything done on time which astounded me. I had so much to do in just a couple of hours, but it got done.
I made sure Steve parked his little Yellow Fever race car right out front, as well as a couple of custom Harley trikes that belonged to his boss. It made a great photo backdrop for his family who's never been up here. In fact, they were actually riding the trikes around the airport!!
When Steve wasn't paying attention, I parked his Yellow Fever scooter next to his car. He took forever to notice it, but when he did--he was like a little kid all over again. I wish I had a picture of the grin on his face while he took it out for a test ride. Too funny. The rest of the afternoon the kids were all taking turns on the scooter and so were the grandmas and grandpas!
It seemed like the longest birthday party ever, lasting six hours. I wasn't worried about people leaving too soon because so many of them had driven at least 3 or 4 hours to get there. I knew they'd stick around. And they all gave me great feedback, on the food, the activities, the location, the music--pretty much everything. I was glad to hear it, after working on it for so long.

So now that it's all done, I'm busy getting things taken care of that need attention. There's quite a bit of work to do on Steve's little rental house, and I guess nobody's going to do it besides me. The renters left a nightmare mess, and there's the normal upkeep stuff that hasn't been done at all. Painting, carpeting, yard work, and then painting outside.

Tonight is the big cruise night for the car show. Every October we have a HUGE car show (thankfully I get to just enjoy it, not work AT it) and they kick things off tonight with a street fair. My boss's girlfriend has a little record store in the area of the street fair, so we're using it as a place to hang out. We can set up chairs, pull up a cooler, and watch the people walk by.

The Clock's Ticking...

Steve's big birthday party is Sunday, and I have loose ends that are killing me. Tables and chairs; I don't want to rent them when I have so many places I could actually BORROW them from. For instance, the VFW here in Havasu puts on a ceremony periodically, like most recently on 9/11. THEY asked Steve to fly the Cobra over the ceremony a few times. So he did. It costs about $1200 to do that, because of fuel and insurance. Steve's boss footed that one. When I called the VFW to ask about borrowing some tables and chairs for Sunday, they said no. "We have to keep a certain amount on the patio for our smokers." WHAT????!?!!!! I'm going down there this afternoon to talk about the $1200 flyover that they didn't have to pay for.

Then, I paid a local company to print "Huff's 1/2 Century October 14, 2007" on 100 pillboxes. I'm using them as party favors. I'm filling them with candy and putting them on the tables (the ones I don't have yet)
The printer didn't print the right date on the pillboxes. Their idea was to ignore it because nobody will notice. I disagreed. I paid $200 for pillboxes to be customized and I can't imagine anyone at the party would ignore that. So they're printing the right date on some metal labels and putting them on the pillboxes.

Everything else seems to be coming together, all the gifts I arranged for are done. Just gotta stay sane while my boss and I put together our last summer event this weekend. Friday and Saturday we'll be busy with that, then we have to switch gears very quickly and get the party ready on Sunday.

So Many Assholes, So Little Time

My boss, Todd, and I spent yesterday morning in a very heated meeting. The owner of Hot Boat Magazine and a client of ours who owns a shop called Absolute Speed and Marine.
We yelled the entire time we were there. An hour and a half of the 'f' word and pieces of documents proving that these people had been lying to us for the past 6 months. At first they lied and said, "Hey, none of this is true," but then we pulled out our proof and they got pissed that we were basically proving them to be a-holes.
We run a very kick-back business. We do all our deals on handshakes and lunch meetings. Most of the events we pull off are easy enough at this point that we can do it all with our hands tied behind our backs. But that's not because the work itself is easy, we just know what we're doing and we've trained the staff to know what they're doing.

One of our proudest events is a HUGE poker run in October, with enormous colorful boats driven by very rich people. These a-holes that we met yesterday are involved in that event to an extent, and this year they decided that they would go behind our backs and make the event their own. And they figured that we would just roll over and go, "Okay, you guys take this one over, since we're busy with other things." They didn't take into consideration that the Coast Guard only issues one permit for something like this, and it's already been issued to us. So once these dirtbags found out, they panicked. They thought, "Well, we're going to have to buy that permit from Jokers Wild." (that's us) Well, it's not like a liquor license, you can't buy it. The permit is our guarantee to the Coast Guard that we're going to have a safe event run in accordance with all the laws. People get killed at some of the big poker runs because these big boats race each other and do stupid things.
So we walked into the meeting with guns blazing. We won in the end, because we had enough leverage to shut them down. Very strange feeling, having leverage.

All week long, our phones have been ringing with people calling to tell us what they'd heard about all the drama. We were exhausted and felt beat up. Today, we're still exhausted but we have a very complex event to run this weekend and we gotta get ready for it.

Meanwhile, my baby Shay is getting packed for Hawaii. His dad and the future step-witch are going on vacation and taking him with them. He's excited, which is cool. I'm glad he gets to go because he has been a good little angel for quite some time and he deserves a nice break.

I'm getting last minute details together for Steve's birthday, and it all seems to be coming together nicely. I'll handle the catering today, and hopefully I'll find some tables and chairs to accommodate 60 people. I think I know where I can borrow them, I'm just not looking forward to being the one picking them up and setting them up. Yikes.

Sharing my Man

Kinda happy, because my small group of friends actually got to spend a little time with Steve on Sunday. I only have a few close friends, well only two really, but there were some extended friends who were there, as well.
Steve is like the mystery man to these people, because he is busy when I'm with them, so they know this much:
He is almost 50,
He works at the airport,
He's busy,
And he lets me go out and do my own thing whenever I want.


Steve goes to bed at 9pm sharp, so if I'm out with friends at the night club he's at home asleep.

And if I'm working an event and my friends are there just to enjoy the party, they never see Steve because he's usually busy when I'm working.

We went for a motorcycle ride to a ghost town/mining town called Oatman on Sunday, and Steve rode his boss's custom red Budweiser Harley trike, with me on the back.
Hilarious looking. HUGE. Fast. Loud. We were joined by a small convoy of friends who have never really even met him. So, they got to know him a little, and I think they were impressed. Nice ride, too.

Just Busy, That's All

Had a regatta this past weekend, and that takes up about 40 hours of work in 2 1/2 days. I wore a new red cocktail dress for the banquet on Saturday night, and got nothing but compliments! Very cool.
I'll put the link up once our photographer gets them ready.

We went to this year's firt parent teacher conference for Shay, and he's doing very well. The teacher had only one complaint, his handwriting. So, we get to work on that, with a handy little workbook.

Steve went dragracing while I worked over the weekend, and won all six races he ran. He was in heaven, showing off.
I noticed his flourescent green cane that I made him for Christmas is getting scuffed and chipped, so I bought a new cane to be powder coated today. I suppose I'll try to match the color of his drag racer, and then give it to him on his B-day.

That's all the new news for now.....

The OTHER Thornton

Just got back from an American Cancer Society conference in Reno, Nevada. It's right where they're looking for Steve Fossett's plane (remains....let's not kid ourselves)

Anyway, the conference was AMAZING. I gained a lot of knowledge but more importantly I got inspired and motivated. It wasn't a love fest or anything, but a chance for people to share their stories and most often it was something that made you want to cry. Or sob, really.

Since I took over the Lake Havasu Relay For Life, we have almost tripled our money raised for cancer research. I was amazed to hear that out of the several thousand people at this conference, some of them had actually heard about our success and they approached me to congratulate me! What really meant the most, though, was being thanked by the researchers and cancer patients who were benefitting from the fundraising. Very touching.

The man who started the whole Relay For Life thing back in 1985 is a colorectal surgeon named Dr. Gordon Klatt. He's kind of like John Lennon to us fundraisers because he did something that truly changed the world. The Relay For Life events annually raise $100 million + each year and it all gets used for reasearching a cure for cancer. So this guy is a demi-god to us.

They surprised us all with a visit from Dr. Klatt, first thing Saturday morning.

A huge ballroom full of about 2,000 people (mostly volunteers like me) just stood in shock that this guy was actually onstage in front of us. I'd held it together all week but seeing him just made the tears roll. Truly an angel.

This was the morning following my Billy Bob adventure. Oh, let me explain! As I perused the entertainment ads for the hotel we were staying at, I noticed Heart was playing on Friday night. Yeah!! Rock ON!! I planned on buying a ticket ($60, ouch) until I saw that Billy Bob Thornton was performing onstage poolside, the same night. And it wouldn't cost me a dime because "Ladies" were free. I went and it was awesome. I didn't even know he sang! He has a great band, they play everything from country to really hard rock. What shocked me was how skinny and tiny that man was. He is probably 5'3", if he's lucky. And 100 pounds, soaking wet. He and I made eye contact a couple of times, as he was checking out all the chicks standing near the stage during his performance. Made me uncomfortable, like I was being sized up.

The concert ended around midnight, and I happily went to my room to wait for my ears to recover. The next morning everyone was talking about Patrick Swayze. Huh? Apparently he was in the pool area enjoying the concert. I couldn't figure out how I could've missed him, until I was told he was a tiny little man, too!! Little tiny guy with big, fake looking hair. And he was drunk. DAMMIT!!!!! That would've been an awesome, yet funny picture for Myspace....

I did buy one of Billy Bob's cd's that was actually autographed, so that's cool. I also talked with a gentleman who was Billy Bob's attorney, and he gave me the phone number to his manager. So, if I can manage to get a nice venue I could likely set up a concert with ol' Billy Bob. Cool!

The picture up top is what my crappy camera got at the concert. Man, it's time for a new one.

Barbie World

I wish this were mine, but it's not. My boss owns a Black Rhino store, (as well as being an Events Promoter) which customizes Yamaha Rhinos and sells them for a very pretty price.
We took this one out for a photo shoot, so we can put it on the website and brochures.
The while roll cage is actually sparkly, it shimmers in the sun!!
Oh, by the way, we HAD to park it in the shade because it was 120 degrees today. Ug.

AZ Sunset

Not bad, for a crappy camera, huh?

Goofin

Posing for ourselves in the back yard.

My Palm Enemy

Here's a slice of my nemesis, the palm tree frawn.

Ooh the Moooon!!

Got up at 2 am to check out the lunar eclipse. It was cool. I actually got great footage of it with the video camera, now I have to figure out how to attach the camera to the computer so I can email it.

While I had some time alone yesterday, I got to looking thru the video tapes stored in the living room cabinets. Not too many home movies, I'm sure those went with the ex when she left. But there was one that was interesting: Steve's brother's wedding back in 1996. Steve was the best man, and everyone had a mullett. Business in the front, party in the back. Yes, I know, most of the world had cut the mullett in 1996 but Havasu was a little behind the times at that point.

Not too many people had cable tv.

Fortunately, they were short mulletts so it wasn't too awful. But what I thought was funny was Steve's toast to the new couple. It was terrible. He was going thru his divorce with Sergeant Iron Pants (the first divorce--they got back together eventually--so they could divorce again.) and he was apparently depressed about it. (oh by the way she had a mullett too, and still does)

His speech reminded me of Adam Sandler in the Wedding Singer--when his crappy white trash fiancee left him at the alter and he consequently ruined everybody else's weddings that he was performing at. Steve's white trash wife left him so he made his toast at this wedding really pitiful. I wanted to reach thru the t.v. and choke him. "Hello! Have you MET her??? She's awful!!!!"

A Pretty Normal Weekend

For the first time in a while, we had a normal Saturday and Sunday. We did stuff around the house, watched some movies and t.v. shows that we'd recorded with the Tevo, we fixed a couple of things in the garage, and we played on the computer. My son ran around the neighborhood with his cronies, and they played video games when it was too hot outside.
On Saturday night, I worked a couple of hours at a local sports pub as a Budweiser Girl. Me and the other two girls decided we should wear matching hooker boots with our Bud outfits, and I think that went well. The promotion was for a UFC fight, and it was definitely a UFC crowd.
Guys with sleeveless shirts and shaved heads. We worked from 7:30 to 10:00, and made $75 each. Not bad! We were literally treated like special guests because for some reason a lot of the people there thought we were from Bud Headquarters or something. One girl came up and shook our hands, "Nice to meet you, I'm Sharon!" Uh, okay....
We charged $6 per photo, and had fun with that. Signed autographs. What a scam.

On Sunday morning, Steve and I went outside to get the smoker ready. We were putting on a huge brisket for dinner. I walked past the pool to see if it needed cleaning, and I spotted a dead lizard in the bottom. As I went to grab the net to pull him out, I saw another lizard, but he was floating with just his head out of the water. Pulled them both out, chucked the dead one over the wall to the neighbor's yard and then got the living one into the sunlight so he could warm up. He was so cold from soaking in the water that he couldn't move. Including his tail, he was about a foot long. Steve and I petted him and stared at him while he warmed up. Ya don't get that opportunity too often because lizards run like crazy when you come near.

Our brisket was ready for dinner and we had a friend over to help us eat it. Shay gulped his down and ran back out to meet the gang.
At bedtime, we went thru the usual routine (get the humidifier going, get a glass of water, etc) and then hit the sack. About five minutes later I heard a noise in the living room and jumped up. It sounded like someone coming thru the back door. It was actually the cat, trying to catch a tiny mouse that he'd brought in from the back yard. Oh great, now I've got an injured mouse to track down. Luckily I got it quickly and threw it across the street. I'm sure it died from that impact, because I heard the little "thud." The cat was looking at me like, "Hey, that was my toy!"

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch...

Not that there hasn't been drama around here--there has--I just don't feel like writing about it today. Fortunately the drama doesn't include me!
Steve's birthday is in October, and I'm planning a big gathering for it. I've got a guest list of about 50 people, and I'm sure they'll all show up. I've been putting together ideas for this since March, because it's his 50th and I want it to be special. Finally, I got the location dialed in, the menu, and the activities--so that gave me some time to work on his presents.

He's out of town a couple of days each week right now, because of work, and that's given me the freedom to work on his presents without him finding out. I wanted to get him one of those fancy pants Segway scooters but I just haven't had the opportunity to save up for it. The one I liked was $5,000. Ouch.
While I was in the auto parts store a couple of weeks ago, they had a 3-wheeled stand up scooter that was much like a Segway, but it was a LOT cheaper. It was their display model so it was marked waaaay down. I snatched it up (with the help of the cashier--that sucker was heavy!) and took it to a friend's house to hide it in their garage. When I got a moment to take a good look at it, I was bummed to find out that it was quite scratched and scuffed up and the stickers were ruined from people bumping into things with it. I got the idea to take it apart and have it painted to match Steve's race car. He has a 1970 Maverick that he takes to the drag strip in the winter. It's bright yellow, and says Yellow Fever on the sides. Since this scooter will go 12 mph, it would actually be a perfect toy to take with us racing. He could use it to go down to the different areas of the track (since he doesn't have a golf cart and he has a bit of a problem getting around on foot) and he could look pretty cool doing it!
While that's being painted, I got on the internet to find a book. "The Last Mile", it's about the last 3 years of Steve McQueen's life. It's written by Barbara McQueen, his widow. I sort of met her once, earlier this year. She was a model in the 70's and OH MY GOD she is still very stunning. I remember when I first saw her I couldn't take my eyes off her because she was so striking. She and her husband spend their winters in Lake Havasu. I found the book, got it in the mail, then started to ask people if they knew how I could find her to get her autograph for it.
Nobody knows where she is because she travels in the summer. So I emailed her publisher, explaining what I wanted.
Holy CATS, the publisher wrote me back immediately, says she forwarded my email to the writer who helped Barbara write the book! She says, "Marshall is in direct contact with Barbara quite often, so he'll track her down for you."
I'll have to keep you posted on that little project....

Oh yes, and Wyatt Earp called yesterday. He wants to know if we're coming to his next performance. It's actually Wyatt Earp's great-grand nephew, and he does a "Play" where he narrates the story about the original Wyatt Earp. Steve found this guy through the internet a month or two ago, and they talk periodically. What's really funny about it is how much Steve grew up emulating Wyatt Earp. His family lived just a few minutes from Tombstone, where the gunfight at the O.K. Corral happened, and he knows the details of that whole story inside and out. We visited Earp's home in Tombstone earlier this summer, and a few weeks ago we drove down to one of his homes he lived in after he retired. Too funny.

Did I Mention It's HOT???

I (being a brainiac) didn't trim our palm trees until this week. It should've been done back in May, but I told myself it wasn't necessary. It's only about 116 degrees right now, down from July's average of 120, and there's quite a bit of humidity because we're in what's called the monsoon season. We get like 60 percent humidity (yes, I know, you think that's a joke) but 60% added to 116 degrees equals AFRICA HOT. There were a couple of times when I stood up and almost passed right out, from the heat. But, the trees HAD to be done. I've got a busy few months ahead of me and putting it off anymore would've been a big mistake.
There's 7 palms, and 4 of them are big. So I had to use a Saws-All to trim them and each tree yielded a 5 foot tall stack of frawns. (that's the branches with the wonderful fan at the end)
None of you have lived in the desert, so I'll explain palm trees:
Anything that flourishes in the desert (with the exception of Oleander Bushes) have big, huge thorns. The citrus trees, the bouganvilia bushes, agave plants, the bird of paradise bushes, and the wonderful mesquite trees all have thorns. They're 1" long and they stab you to the bone if they have the chance.
I know in pictures palm trees look so "aaaaaaah," like paradise, but up close they are bad mofos. The branches have gnarly, pointy spikes, all along the sides, and the green part is stiff and sharp on the edges. Each time I had to cut a branch I had to hold the saw above my head, because the trees are taller than 5 feet. Sometimes, I had to stand on the only thing I could find which was a bar stool from the garage, so I could reach the branches. I soon figured out it was a swivel stool and as I balanced myself up near the tree, the darn thing started turning!
Once I mastered the art of sawing while turning, things moved a little quicker.
I was thinking to myself, "Hey, I'm doing pretty good! I haven't gotten hurt yet!"
Then a palm frawn fell from the tree and stabbed my hand. One nice puncture, right into the meat. Hurt so bad my hand shook!
I got over it, began cutting again and soon another palm frawn fell into me. This time the spikes went into my right boob. I just stood there and waited for the blood to start. I didn't bleed too bad.
I bandaged everything and finished the job.
Later, as I told Steve about my boob puncture, I expected sympathy. Instead I got, "Oh, it didn't deflate, did it??"

This'll Crack You Up

The uh, future stepmom, whatever she is called (Shay's dad's girlfriend) actually asked me for $200 to help pay for the trip they're taking to Hawaii in October. They're taking her son and Shay with them, and are soliciting donations from both me and her kid's father.
I can't believe she'd ask this, when Shay told her that I was aware of the way she was yelling at him and bad-mouthing me.....
I politely told her that I've got some really big expenses these next two months and paying for their vacation isn't in my budget.

Almost Famous

We almost had dinner with Martina McBride this week. ALMOST. Her tour buses stopped in town on Wednesday and my boss said we were apparently invited to have a dinner with her and these friends of ours who know her.
I wasn't completely sold on the idea because I had a great dinner planned at home with my son and my sweetheart--and I didn't really know who Martina McBride was. Still don't. I know her name and that's about it. I only listen to country when someone makes me!
So, when it came down to dinner time, I opted to stay home and so did my boss. I made a fabulous supper with Omaha Steaks, asparagus bombs (email me and I'll give you the recipe it's DELIGHTFUL) and some other wonderful things. And we watched Premonition--Brandy--look at my comments on your Premonition blog entry.
We haven't had much time at home lately and home just seemed way better than getting dressed up to impress a country singer who I don't know.

This weekend is another Regatta, not as glamorous as some of the others because it's entirely on the beach and there's no fancy banquet. FINE! I will tie my hair back, put on the cowboy hat, and spool it up.

Man, It's Hot

And I'm getting sick of it. Oh well.

This week I got to be an adult for a little while. Steve and I took a rental car down to Phoenix, and the plan was for us to fly home the next morning in a helicopter that was in a shop getting some repairs. Well then we were told once we got down there that it would be a whole nother day before it was ready. Okay, we'll wait.
Then we ended up waiting three days. I toodled around Phoenix, going to the mall, having drinks with friends, having sushi, YAY!
Finally I had to come home on my own because we have a regatta this weekend. Gotta do some preparations for it ahead of time, so we look like professionals.
Steve's still stuck down there, waiting for the helicopter to get completed.
And I'm here, dealing with this 119 degree weather.....

Back from the Dead

I've spent the last five days horizontal, and today I believe I might be getting well again. I only get sick occasionally, like once a year, and I guess this was my time. Of course there was no one to take care of me. OH SURE! The world has to stop spinning when someone else in this house is feeling under the weather, but when I'm sick I'm on my own.
I had several problems: my neck and back were knotted up and I needed my friend the massage therapist to work on me, my sinuses had some irritation and the normal over the counter stuff wasn't working (so I developed a fever and awful headache from it) and then there were some FEMALE problems that only Monistat could help. Yes, I know, T.M.I. And because the FEMALE problem wouldn't clear up, it of course caused a U.T.I. Wonderful times.
I had some time in between headaches to read my latest paperback, a story about this biker guy who worked for the FBI in getting evidence on the Hells Angels. Pretty good, very eye-opening. Remind me not to get involved with a biker any time soon. Well, a real biker anyway. Steve and I hang out with the Yuppy Bikers here in Havasu--otherwise known as the "Rolex Riders." If you ever see the movie "Wild Hogs," you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

Oh yes, and how could I forget--we went to see Transformers on Sunday!!! Woohoo! Awesome movie. It was one of those good ones where you talk about it all the way home. "Remember that part where the robot smashed up all those cars? That was awesome!" I know you know what I'm talkin' about.

Time to go get dinner started. It's a seafood night.

Yay, another record

Today it's supposed to reach 125 degrees, which surprisingly isn't a record. The record was back in the 1990's, when it got to 128. We used to be able to say that the rediculous hot weather kept all the wierdos out of town, but that's not true anymore. They've figured out that alcohol consumption helps with tolerating the heat. Yesterday it was 123, I think, but thankfully I was indoors a lot. Today I have some doggies to go check on (their owners are out of town) but I'm going to accomplish that before it gets too stupid outside.
This weekend we went on a double date with some friends since we were without children. They were all with either their friends or their other parents. My son got to go see a KISS tribute band, called KISS ARMY on Saturday. He went with his dad, and dad says it was awesome.
It's 10:30, and I better saddle up and get things done before the day heats up!!!

Pool Time

Since it's 100 degrees by 9 am, it's best to get the pool time in well before noon. Shay and I put together the newest toy, the human hamster wheel, and put it to the test. Pretty cool. I recommend it to anyone who wants to keep the kids busy with running in place. Got it at Home Depot, yay!

Then of course Shay had to show me his hair-do sculpting prowess, with the "White Devil Do."

He's just as classy as mom....

My brother and his little family are leaving Arizona for Tennessee this weekend, I guess for good. They're moving to be near his wife's brother, and to get away from the heat. I suppose I'll let them be the ones to find out that Tennessee is also an AFRICA HOT destination every summer. They insist that the weather is better--but I've been to the south quite a bit, and I know what they're in for. DUH.

I am doing some work this week for a new movie being made, about my boss. The movie crew is here for a couple of days and I will be on hand to help make the magic happen. Whatever. I was too busy with my own stuff today to be there.

P Diddy Wishes He Lived With Meeeee!

Photo of Shay--after he got comfortable with the idea of flying:

Went to Prescott, Arizona today--a trip that normally would take 5 hours one way. We made it in 6 minutes. Steve's boss bought a learjet on Ebay recently (yep, look em up, you can buy pretty much anything on there) and in order for Steve to have a co-pilot, he has to train some people up in the air with him. These are not newbies to the profession or anything, just people who already fly quite a lot but need some time in this particular jet to get their license updated.

So, Shay and I met them at the airport and climbed aboard at about noon. We got to Prescott very quickly, had lunch, then turned around and came back home.

This jet is soooo fast, at one point Steve turned around and said to us, "We're flying at about 460 miles per hour." Dang. It burned 350 gallons of fuel, so if you calculate how much jet fuel is--around $3 per gallon (at cost because Steve's boss also recently bought the Chevron station at the airport) then that means today's quick training session cost about $1,000. Not including the $20 lunch, though. That's extra.

Six minutes to go the same distance that takes 5 hours to drive. A lot of it has to do with the desert and mountains--if you're driving you have to take a very indirect route, around the impassible parts of the state.
I wish my base income was even close to Steve's boss's expendable income. The guy has been doing construction and real estate development since he was 20 years old (not without an awful bankruptcy of course) and lately he's been very lucky in business. He comes from the Harrah family (hotels and casinos) so he didn't exactly start out as a pauper.

Daddy's Girl

Went to my boyfriend's class reunion this past weekend. Everyone asks, "Where was it?" Easiest way to explain is to just say, "BFE."
Steve grew up in southern Arizona, very close to the Mexican border. His family had a ranch and he fondly tells me stories of working with his dad in the fields all those years. Sometimes I envision his teen years as the movie Footloose, because that's what it sounds like. Steve would be the character portrayed by Kevin Bacon, rebelling against the conservative majority in the tiny reclusive town. Boning every chick in sight. Dancing with the cowboy hat. Playing chicken on the highway after church.
It took us over seven hours to drive to the town where our hotel room was. Sierra Vista. Oh GAWD what an awful place to be stuck in. Checked in, then hopped in the truck to see the sights. Tombstone is about 15 minutes away from there, so we went. Very cool. Everything is still there, preserved from the late 1800's. Wyatt Earp's house, the saloon that he and his brothers owned, the jail, courthouse, etc. I looked for ghosts, but didn't see any. Jerks.
Just like any tourist attraction, there were overpriced gift shops and a $10 charge to see most of the really interesting things. We went near the O.K. Corral but didn't go in because I couldn't justify the charge for looking at an empty dirt lot. We saw the Boot Hill Cemetary, and the Tombstone Cemetary, and took plenty of pictures.
Had dinner with Steve's dad and stepmom that night, which was AWESOME. She's a very good cook.
The next day, we hopped in Steve's dad's car and drove around to the other little towns in the area. These are all old mining towns that have houses that are over 100 years old, and impressive hotels with really cool histories. One hotel, which we visited the inside of, has a marble grand staircase in the lobby. There's a poster nearby with the testimony of a man whose grandfather worked at the hotel in the early 1900's. Pancho Villa was still quite a problem then, and the guy wrote that Pancho rode his horse into the lobby of the hotel, shooting his guns into the air. He rode the horse up the steps of the marble staircase, chipping the marble on the seventh stair. You can see the chip still. It's about 3 inches wide. How bizarre!!

We drove into Mexico, to do some pharmacy shopping. For those of you who have never been, Mexico has awesome deals on stuff and you only have to show a prescription if you're trying to get a narcotic. We just wanted some Retin-A and Prilosec. Cha CHING! Great deals.
Had lunch, then headed back to Sierra Vista.

We got ready for the Reunion, and as we were, Steve was telling me about his plans for the last reunion that he missed because he got into his helicopter accident. He'd planned on flying down in a helicopter and landing right outside the reunion. Yep, just like Romy and Michelle. As he was telling me this, a song from the Romy and Michelle movie came on. Just about peed my pants. Of course, he was hospitalized so he missed that reunion.

This reunion was an "All School" one because the size of the damn school is so small. So, there were people from all years, like from the fifites all the way through to the 90's. We sat in the back, with a teacher of Steve's who recently retired. Once everyone was seated, the organizer of the event got on the microphone and started talking about the people she wanted to thank. She thanked Steve for being the first person to buy tickets back in December. Then she said, "Oh, and aren't you a helicopter pilot who does movies, like Austin Powers?" Everyone just gasped and turned around to look at us. Steve was recently profiled on the Phoenix news for the stunt piloting he's done, in movies. She apparently saw it. How funny.

Dinner sucked, so I stuck with the Tequila Sunrises I got from the bar. After dinner, people started coming over to ask Steve about his flying and stuff. Nobody from his school has seen him since he left back in the 70's, because he immediately went all over the world doing flying jobs. He was seeing the world and I was a toddler. Learning how to talk.
Some people came in late, and it was friends of Steve's so we hung with them. Had lots of drinks and acted silly. One of them was a gorgeous blonde named Joelle. Turns out, she was a very serious girlfriend of his back in the 80's. Dang!!! She was hilarious to talk to, a very outgoing personality. Great boobs, too. We talked about our philosophy on blow jobs, eye contact, and the funky looking people all around us. Surprisingly, there wasn't the amount of reminiscing that I thought there would be. They mostly talked chit chat. Never talked about family or what is going on in their lives now. Actually, I liked it. Very little substance, and it was easy to pay attention to.
The next day we struggled out of bed and had breakfast with Steve's dad. AWESOME. His stepmom made tamales and eggs. Oh, I was in heaven. Especially since I didn't eat the night before. The drive home was fascinating because we took some unknown back roads and explored. Arizona has a neat history of being a big cattle state, and we looked around at some old abandoned cattle feed lots. Found a shrimp farm in the middle of nowhere.
Now we need to drag our kids out there, to show them.
Since it was Father's Day, I had Steve's present at home waiting for him. It was a steel cane with a titanium hammer-head for a handle. Not very lightweight, because of the steel. I guess it'll be a cane for special events. I had it made for him, with the help of some friends.

And now today I've gotta work. Crap.

New Post

Okay, Mikey complained that nobody had updated their blogs. Here you go, bro.
Memorial Weekend was supposed to be spent on the water with the film crew, but my boss had it handled so I had a much needed kick back weekend with the fam. We drove up to the mountains (20 degree difference in temp, yahoo!) and did an off road poker run. Since we got done early, and we were bored, we packed up after finishing that and went to the "other" mountains where my my and stepdad live, and we attended their neighborhood chili cookoff. AWESOME!!! Now I am going to have my own. BUT, it will have sponsors, banners, advertisers, and an admission at the gate. Hee hee!
Then we drove home and used the remaining two days of the long weekend to get stuff done around the house.
Had a few days last week to get ready for the DCB regatta. Holy cow I didn't realize until the last minute that this was actually a very big event and my shoes aren't exactly comfy after many many hours of running around trying to get things under control. God, I felt like a participant in a Chinese fire drill. But I guess the people attending the regatta were happy with it all so that's what matters.
We had a film crew down on the beach during our event because they were supposedly getting footage of "responsible partying." Yeaaaaaahhh, right. I'm sure that will show up on their program with funny clown music and all sorts of classy comments.
The big finale of the regatta is the banquet on Saturday night, and once again I dressed up like Vanna White and did my thing. And did it , and did it, and did it, and did it because Jesus Christo (Spanish version of using the dude's name in vain) there were $10,000 in raffle prizes to give away. Sheesh. Including a stainless steel grill with a grill "Island" and a big screen t.v.

Sunday was the day we got dressed up in our Sunday-go-to-meetin' and visit the movie house. Got to see Pirates, holy cow, three hours long. My son was getting bored at one point and I saw him mocking the people on the screen. Overall it was good, but three hours later when I learned there was going to be yet ANOTHER pirates movie I was like, SERIOUSLY?
Very nice kissing scene with Orlando, I was feeling that warming sensation. Without the KY warming gel, mind you.

Today I have paperwork to do, and tons of housework because apparently it's my job. So I suppose this is where my post ends and my day begins.....

Support Our Troops!

This past Saturday was the Support Our Troops rally that I helped put together. I belong to the Republican Women here in Havasu, and we had two young Marines come out to speak during the ceremony.
Afterward, my boss and I took them out on the lake and showed them that being bad is actually good. (like they didn't already know....) Took lots of pictures, ended up walking around without my top (pasties on) and had a great time. I was giving my all for the support of our troops. I wore my new camouflage bikini with my bullet belt. Everyone had to ask, "Where did you get that belt?" It's green with machine gun bullets all around it. Not real ones, but real looking. I got it at a punk rock store in the mall. CLASSY!!!!
This weekend is the big party out on the lake and we're taking the film crew from Court TV out with us, to get more footage for their show. Should be fun.
I'll be sure to document....

Such a Whore

Media whore, that is. I was on the radio and the newspapers this week, promoting the "Support Our Troops" rally that me and a small group have been putting together. That's on Saturday, in the park. We have two Marines coming from a nearby base to be our guest speakers, and after the ceremony my boss and I are taking them out on the water to show them a good time. Hell, this should be very nice for them considering they just got back from Iraq! It'll be quite a party. Too bad I outgrew my American flag bikini....

For Mother's Day, I got some very cute cards and I got to go see Spiderman 3. I was biting my lip, trying not to cry at the ending! It was one of those movies where there's lots of chaos and stress and when things come together at the end it makes you soooooo thankful. I loved it, so did the rest of the family. Now we're waiting for the next blockbuster to come out--but in the mean time we'll likely end up seeing that Larry the Cable Guy movie. Ish. I'm sure it'll suck, but we'll see it.

I've been kicking ass on the home front, earning my keep. This is something actually pretty spectacular with our situation because I was just recently asked to take over the household finances and stuff. My boyfriend and I have very seperate lives when it comes to that area and it's a huge step for us to be taking. He has his bills, I have mine. He pays his stuff, I take care of mine. He has his own checking account, I have my own. He asked me to take a look at his checking account a few weeks ago, and that was when we both discovered his ex wife was still on the account and still spending quite a bit of money. WHAAAAT??? So, once we got that handled, I made myself a nice budget to work with and we've been slowly applying it. He has to start saving money for his daughter's college (she starts in the fall--can you say PROCRASTINATOR??) and with some discipline I'm sure we can work it out.

He's the world's worst communicator, to the point that I've told him to just email something to me if he's having trouble bringing it up in person. If he's upset about something he emails it to me. People think that's horrendous but it's better than the alternative.
If he's excited about something (like me taking over his finances) he just sits there quietly holding my hand. You can tell he's wanting to say something because he'll sound like he's taking a breath to talk--but then nothing comes out. Yeah, I know, he's sounds like one of those mute people you see in the movies. But he's one of the most talkative guys I know. He'll get bored hanging out with me, (after I've heard all his stories and thoughts and things...)so he gets on the phone and talks his ass off! I watched the clock one day, he was on the phone with a friend of his for almost an hour. They could do that every day if they had time.
But when it comes to sensitive stuff, he becomes tongue tied. So funny.

So, that's my week so far.

Kings of Regattas

Extreme Boats Magazine bragged recently that Jokers Wild Promotions (my employer) was the King of Regattas. Well, we stepped it up a notch and impressed everyone with our first boat regatta of this year, Eliminator Boats. BIG boats, rich owners, and high demands. But, we pulled it off. We have an all new staff this year, so much of my time was spent explaining things that made my day much longer. Sometimes it was simpler to just do the task myself than explain it to the newbie. We had the Friday night hospitality party (with championship Hot Wheels racing) the Saturday morning helicopter photos, and then the poker run and beach party. Then Saturday night we had a HUGE banquet which was decorated by yours truly (and I must say, it was devine--with oversized beach balls framing the stage and balloons EVERYWHERE) along with a prize raffle that had about $7,000 worth of stuff given away.
The whole event felt like a Chinese Fire Drill (if there's such a thing) but the great illusion to the participants was everything went smoothely with no problems.
And I got to wear a bitchin' pink halter dress with my new wedge heels during the raffle. I was Vanna White, with enormous boobs.
Then yesterday, I drove to Las Vegas to drop off my boss's son at the airport. It's about two hours drive, so we had time to catch up on all the happenings he missed while being in boot camp. He flew to Havasu to visit for a week after he graduated out of Cape May, New Jersey. He's now reporting to his first assignment with the Coast Guard, in North Carolina.
As we neared Vegas, Casey (boss's son) pointed to a huge, resort-like house and said he'd heard the house belonged to Andre Aggasi. A limo entered traffic ahead of us, and Casey said, "Hey Burt Reynolds must be in town!" (a line from Happy Gilmore) Then the limo turned into Andre Agassi's place. We both laughed at the thought of Burt Reynolds hanging out with Agassi.
Vegas is neat because there's always a great chance of seeing a celebrity, one worth seeing. Last time I was there I bumped into Ted Nugent. We were both wearing green camouflage and cowboy hats. Seriously. Ted noticed that I recognized him. I was trying to be cool, but, you know. The look on my face said, OMG. I have seen a few celebrities in Vegas, but I've never been uncool enough to go and get an autograph. I saw Penn Gillette (from Penn and Teller) and he looked quite grumpy.
Spend enough time at the airport up there, and you'll see some pretty interesting people.
My goal is to meet Wayne Newton, just so I can say I met him. Oh yeah, also David Cassidy. They both have shows in casinos up there.
Once Casey was dropped off, I headed to the mall because I had a need for some new Bath and Body Works lotions. Awesome. And the Hot Topic store was calling to me. I got a new belt there--it's lined with machine gun bullets. Hilarious! I already have a belt like it, but the bullets are smaller. So now I can strap them together and have a bandelero. YES!!!
My attire is certainly the reason why I can't work a normal job.

Keep On Truckin'

This past weekend we were hired to handle the logistics and contract employees for the Truckin' Magazine annual truck show.
It was record temperatures (104 degrees) and a young, vulgar crowd, and we had our hands full.
Mini trucks, diesels, monster trucks, and vendors with chrome up the wazoo all pulled into the grassy venue and turned up their stereos simultaneously. I've worked at nearly 30 car shows over the years, and I've never seen such a crowd. I've never had to watch a car show participant get hauled away by the police for pulling a switch blade. I've never had to nervously oversee a security staff who regularly made contact with people who were trying to sneak some sort of narcotic onto the show grounds.
Then there was the bikini contest. What's ironic is the bikini winner wasn't even wearing one! She had pasties on her boobs and a strap for her bottoms. A strap.
There were two stripper poles on the stage, just for that portion of the show, and the girls were encouraged by the M.C. to hop up there and get everyone going. Meanwhile, we're dialing police dispatch, asking for more help with our hormonally driven, young, aggressive crowd.

After two days of this in the extreme heat (extreme for April, anyway) we were happy to finally take apart the venue and haul it all away. Exhausting.

Relay For Life

A friend of mine found out on April 11th that the "off" feeling she's had for a few months was actually cancer. By Friday the 13th, she'd lost her voice to the very aggressive throat cancer and the pain from the cervical cancer required her to be heavily medicated.
On the 17th she passed away.
I had the task of notifying the friends of hers who were somewhat difficult to find. We live in an age where people use their cell phone as their home phone, so no calls to directory assistance were successful. I found people by word of mouth, and by luck. Some of them were like me; they've known Regan for almost 20 years but were not in the habit of sitting around and chatting for an hour each week. Out of all her friends, I was one of the few who knew she wasn't feeling right and was trying to figure out what was going on.
She was the type of person who believed in alternative medicine, a wholistic approach, homeopathic remedies, and an all-natural way of life. Don't drink, don't smoke, take care of your body and it'll take care of you. Her husband Steve complimented her quirky ways by being someone who knew a lot of things about a lot of things. Whenever I had a question about something that no one seemed to know the answer to, I knew I could call Regan and Steve.
It was kind of like the relationship I had with my dad, before he passed away. Anything I needed to know, I could ask him and he would likely have the answer. When he died I felt so helpless. Who would I turn to?
Now that Regan's gone I have that same feeling.
She passed away three days before my fundraiser, the American Cancer Society Relay For Life. I was nominated to be Chairman of this event that is a signature fundraiser for a great organization. It's only been happening in Lake Havasu (my home town these days) for three years, and past fundraising totals were a good start. First year it was $16,000, second year it was $35,000. With my help they hoped to make it even higher.
I took on the role of "Carnival Barker" by appearing on the t.v, the radio, in the newspaper, and on the online news publications. I was in everyone's face, prompting them to help us reach our goal of $60,000. I made it my personal mission to turn this event into a huge success.
Then I lost Regan. I lost my steam, right when it was critical to keep going. I wanted to just lay down and cry.
But then her husband called me, and gave me some insight into where his head was at. When I assumed he'd be feeling sorry for himself, he was strong. When I thought a smile was off limits, he made me smile. Regan had been hospitalized in Las Vegas--two hours from home--because that's where the specialists were. Her husband recanted all the events that led him to that conversation with me: all the doctors, the consultations, the medications, and and the heartache of seeing her in pain. He said at one point, "This is the worst trip to Vegas I've ever had."
Tearfully, I smiled.
I then decided, "If he can do it, I can too."
I shook off the sad feelings, the tears, the despair, and I focused on the fundraiser.
I worked until it hurt, I did what needed to be done.
I explained my sadness to my Relay For Life committee, and they very kindly offered their sympathies. In a quiet conversation with Will, head of our Logistics, I told him I'd dedicate myself to the Relay and then give Regan the time she deserved in my heart AFTER the event was over.
I checked weather forcasts, worried that if we had some sort of anomoly we'd have no participants at our outdoor event. And there it was; a forecast for 30 mile per hour winds and rain. People in this town will come out in the wind, but not the rain.
I worried for a while then I realized that Regan's husband had said something pretty important, "For ten years she was my universe, and now she IS the universe."
I silently asked her, "Regan could you do this one favor for me? I know this seems a bit silly to you, considering what has happened to you this past week, but it's very important to me"
And she did. The clouds cleared up on the day we were setting up out at the track, and the wind stayed calm. Everyone was amazed at our "luck."
The event kicked off on Friday night, and I found myself chatting with t.v. cameramen and reporters. I let them all know we had Regan to thank for our great weather. They probably shrugged it off, but all the event participants knew it was quite true.
There were dancers, singers, dedications, ceremonies and all kinds of activities making it look just like I envisioned it would; a carnival.
At one point in the middle of the night, I looked up and saw the half-moon and the stars. The music from our stage was in my ear but I could hear Regan's voice, calling me "Miss Shawna" like she always did. She was there.
She was there the next morning, when the accountant was adding up the $65,000 we raised.
And she was there Saturday night, once I finally got home from cleaning up the stage, the trailers, the tables and chairs, and the 15 garbage cans at our site. I cried until my head hurt and my stomach ached. I didn't cry because it was so unfair that such a neat person was taken away like she was; I cried because I missed her. Just like that, she's gone.

Miss you, Regan

I wanted to call you today, to tell you how sad I was but you were not around. In fact, you passed away right around lunch time.
Why did this happen to you? WHY did this happen to your husband??
Please let me know you're okay. Everyone is just torn up, we want to know that you're at peace and that you're gonna be alright.

What Bunny?

My son and I have been going around and around on the Tooth Fairy thing because I decided to stop sneaking into his room pre-dawn every time he managed to lose a tooth. I finally let him catch me so the "jig is up" in that area. He has accepted the fact that mom is the Tooth Fairy.
So, that brought up the issue of the Easter Bunny. He started bugging me soon after he learned about my tooth stealing side job, asking, "So, does that mean you're the Easter Bunny, too?"
I managed to change the subject each time he asked, until last Friday. I'd bought the chocolates and toys for his Easter basket, and had to carry it all around with me on Friday because it get to be 700 degrees in my little black car. Meetings, errands, and more meetings with a bag full of Easter stuff at my side.
My son saw one of the toys sticking out of the bag and he commented on it--because it was obviously something for him. I told him to quit snooping & he kind of left it alone. Then later that day he brought it up. "So, are you the Easter Bunny?" I told him he'd find out on Sunday. Sure enough, Sunday morning came around and he found his basket with chocolates, a card from me and my boyfriend, and of course the little toys I'd gotten him. He asked no more questions!!!!
I told my brother about it, and he agreed that it is indeed time to stop with the charade because his daughter is the same age as my son and they're starting to ask WAAAY too many questions. We've decided to drag the Santa thing out till the end of time, though. As long as we can get away with it, we're gonna do it.
Each year I push the Santa Envelope even further, with elaborate stunts. One year I had my boyfriend on the roof in the dark, shaking jingle bells so Shay could hear them. While Shay was running outside to catch a glimpse of the sleigh, I was hurriedly putting the "Santa" toys out under the tree. He came in, disappointed because it was too dark and he missed seeing the sight of a lifetime--but then blown away because the evidence was there under the tree.

We visit the website for NORAD every Christmas eve, to check out their Santa Tracking system. It's helpful because I don't have to answer the question, "When do you think Santa will be here?" because their tracking map shows exactly where he's at and when he'll be to Arizona.

Last year, I set mylarm for 2 am, and I quietly put all the presents out. Then I went outside Shay's bedroom window and shook the jingle bells until I was satisfied he'd heard them. I used all different wrapping paper on the Santa presents, and the gift tags were all written with my right hand instead of my left. I've gotten it to the point where I actually enjoy the challenge!!

This year, it's going to be even more elaborate. I'm likely going to be enlisting the help of a relative, who might be able to put the Santa presents out while we're in the back yard having a little warming fire. (we have a neat fireplace out next to the pool, with chairs and tables) I gotta figure out who's gonna jingle the bells......

Queen of all media

This weekend we were hired to take out a magazine crew on the lake so they could do a story about Havasu. It's a new mag called Draft and it's actually written in Scottsdale, Arizona. They've been in business about a year, and they always have celebrity covers along with an interview with that particular celeb. The one they showed me has Leslie Nielson. Anyway, the magazine concentrates on breweries and destinations, so it's kind of a travel magazine.
One of our sponsors for our boat regatta series is a local brewery and it was their idea to invite this magazine here. Then they had custom graphics put on the boat we were taking out, promoting their new beer. The brewmaster came out with us, and we took the mag people out for a good time. Showed them some of the party spots on the lake and then showed them some of the more picturesque places. They were impressed!

Tonight, I met with my committee for the Relay for Life. Our event is on the 20th, so we're in the process of finalizing plans. Huge committment, I'm finding out! We'll be on the site of the Relay from 9 am on Friday the 20th thru 11 am Saturday. The event itself starts at 5pm, and people will start walking while we have all kinds of raffles and entertainment. Our goal is to raise $60,000 towards the American Cancer Society, and I think we'll do it! So far we've gotten $20,000, and we've got teams out there fundraising and getting sponsors as we speak. I was asked to be the chairman this year, after the committee realized they would need to bring in someone with event production experience in order to get a larger amount of participation and donations. Some people don't like how I'm running the show, mainly because I'm running it like a business. That's just the way it is! I am not a control freak, I like having input from anyone and everyone, and I don't feel like I have to be involved in every little aspect of the event. The former chair did things differently and he ran himself into the ground. Now he's barely able to put in just the time that he does, because he burned himself out.
Right now, I'm donating about 5 hours a week towards this project, but there were some weeks where I put in at least 25 hours towards it. That's just how I work. Sometimes I'm on fire (and can donate a lot of time), and other times I have to actually do my real job and get paid.

Meanwhile, Steve (the boyfriend) is on his way to California to do some work on a show called "Jericho." He's a stunt pilot and occasionally gets called to do helicopter stuff for t.v. and movie.
He called me about 2 hours after he took off from here and said he was broke down in Barstow. That's scary, considering it's 7:30 at night. He's partially paralyzed from a helicopter accident seven years ago, and uses a cane to get around. He broke his back, both ankles, and had 6 months in the hospital from it. Barstow is a toilet of a town (although I'm sure he's at the airport, which is controlled--nobody can get onto the field where he's at) But it can't be too fun, being broke down in such a crappy place. I offered to drive and pick him up, but he said he was going to look at the chopper and see what was wrong with it. He's been a helicopter pilot and mechanic since he was eighteen, so I'm confident he knows what he's doing.
Incidentally, for all those guys out there, Steve is flying an Army Cobra helicopter, one that was used in the very beginning of the Austin Powers Goldmember movie. He flew in it, shooting at Gwyneth Paltrow. My sweetie is so cool.......

I'm Kind of a Big Deal

Went to work at the Baja race in Ensenada, Mexico last weekend and had a pretty cool time. My job is to write down each race vehicle's start times as they leave the line (they leave one every thirty seconds) and then we log their finish times and determine the winners by the best times. There's like 25 classes of off road vehicles so it's quite a bit of effort.
The most popular of the race vehicles is the Trophy Trucks, which are million-dollar trucks outfitted with nothing but the best of equipment and the ability to charge 120 mph thru the roughest terrain in the desert.
There are NASCAR drivers who got their start driving the Trophy Trucks. Best example is Jimmie Johnson, the #48 Lowes car. Another one is Robby Gordon, and I'm not sure which car he is this year. It changes.
Anyway, one of the newer Trophy Truck drivers is Jesse James, from the Monster Garage show. "West Coast Choppers..." wooo hooo...... That's sarcastic enthusiasm, by the way.
Jesse's married to Sandra Bulloch and they were both at the race this past weekend. Got to meet them both. WEIRD. Really weird to see Sandra in person. She's tall and skinny. Very pretty, of course.
Jesse's just Jesse. You know.

Ensenada's right on the Pacific coast, and there's a huge marina where the cruise ships bring in tourists. I saw in the paper that the Black Pearl was moored there temporarily while it slowly made its way around the coast (and thru the Panama Canal) to Florida to finish filming the 3rd Pirates movie. So I went down to the marina and "I'll be damned!!!" the Black Pearl was right there. It's a huge black ship. Took some pictures, but I didn't get to go on the ship for better ones because the crew wasn't there.

Very exciting race, from start to finish. The last minute changes made to our schedule kept us hopping but we handled it. I was glad to finally get home, after being gone for 4 days I really missed my home!!! And my sweethearts. Shay and Steve, I mean.

So, this weekend I'm working out on the lake. The cable channel Court TV has a film crew here for their new show, "Party Police" and we're taking them out on the water to get footage. Spring Breakers are here and apparently that's what this show focuses on. It'll be like COPS, but it's on the water. I will do my best to get a cameo appearance somehow. Local t.v. is not my only goal!!! ha ha haaaa.....