But we weren't delicate in our discussions for the most part. We were honest. Suicide is stupid. It's the most selfish thing a person can do. It's horrible.
And we didn't want the kids to walk away from it with nightmares, so I suggested that we come back to the place after dark and do some investigating. Some might think that such behavior would promote nightmares and bad memories, but I knew we'd find a way to make it alright for them. Mostly I wanted to show them that it wouldn't be right to walk away feeling creepy about that house, because I have very many happy memories from the place. We had birthdays, Christmas, barbecues, and all kinds of family gatherings there. The kids played together as babies there.
As we wrapped up the day, the kids and I stepped out to where the suicide happened. We were perplexed because a very heavy swing that was sitting there was overturned and apart. We'd just been out there a few minutes before, and the swing wasn't like that. Hmmm..... perhaps someone was telling us how he felt?
After a great dinner we went back to the house. We actually had some personal items from "whatshisname" and I placed them in the area where he died.
And then we sat and waited.
Sometimes, we texted...
Sometimes, we just stared at the stuff....
And after quite a while of hearing and seeing nothing, we went inside the house and poked around in the empty rooms.
I became depressed, because I was sad to see another piece of our family history go.
I imagined the times we had, with our little babies, and all the memories that would be struggling to keep a place in our minds as things began to fade.
This was once a spot where the kids liked to sit and play with the books from the overflowing book shelf:
And now it's a dark corner in an empty house:
Geez, now I'm getting sadder...
