One Last Thing About Christmas...

Being the dog walker that I am, and being the holidays, I am out on the streets with other people's dogs a lot lately.

Today I was walking Sadie and we came across a rock in someone's yard. A special Santa Rock...

Steve's Christmas Present

Steve said at the beginning of December, "Hey, I think we should all just make each other's Christmas present this year."
My mind started working, you could actually hear the gears start turning and squeaking.
I asked him if he'd like to make a scrap book for each of his daughters, so they could begin their adult lives with keepsakes of their own. Just a good collection of pictures of them from birth till now. He thought it was a great idea. Until I asked him to help me compile the photos. They needed to be picked out and scanned, then reproduced.
So that never happened. He got them each something from Staples.

Meanwhile, I needed to come up with something for Steve. I've made him lots of things over the years: the hammer head cane, the customized race car cooler to match his race car, the custom scooter to match his race car. But those were Birthday presents. This was going to be his Christmas present. Hmmmm....what to do...hmmmm.


I decided to go through my extensive collection of photos, to put together an album for him. It took about two hours to choose all the pictures on my laptop; they are thankfully very nicely categorized and all I had to do was click click click and they were transferred to a USB thingy. I chose several themes: family, travel, toys, and pictures of us together where we'd posed for the camera. Oh yes, almost forgot about the funny photos; ones where he either had on a funny hat or disguise. There were about 10 of those.

It was a neat trip down memory lane. I was re-living moments that were actually quite clear in my mind thanks to my very meticulous way of saving photos on the laptop. Every event, every special day, every photo has been carefully saved according to the date and event. The first photo we ever appeared together in was in April of 2005. He had come to a fundraiser I was putting on, and shocked the elite fru-fru members of Havasu's society by hugging on his younger girlfriend.



There were photos from family outings, like Mexico, Las Vegas, San Diego, and Glamis Dunes. There were family reunion and family Christmas party photos. There were car shows, trips in the semi truck for this or that, and Birthday parties.
155 photos later, I was ready for Walgreens. They printed them in two hours. TWO HOURS!
I wasn't ready for them, so I picked up the photos the next morning. Only, I didn't know it was Christmas Eve. I thought I had a whole 'nother day. WRONG.
I spent eight hours that day sorting photos, clipping them, arranging them, and gluing them into the album.
And I was pleasantly surprised at how much he loved his present.






How do I top that? I don't know. I don't think I can. I am physically unable to do another eight hour photo album.

Smiley Cyrus

At Uncle Jim's on Christmas Day, my cousin's daughter broke out her new guitar. I kept trying to get in and take photos of her, but she would hide her face each time I appeared. So I photographed her from around the corner.

She didn't know what to think of me, because all the rest of the adults were hanging out and talking with, well, adults. I wanted to play.

Especially when I saw her new doll house. It wasn't a Barbie Dream House (enter trademark symbol here) but it was cool enough. All wood, with little dolls and fantastic Art Deco furniture. I just wanted to play.

When she saw me over at her three foot tall doll house, she joined me. I would rearrange a room, she'd knock it all down. I kept telling her that we needed to stop it with the Hurricane Katrina stuff, and she'd give me a strange look. Hey I can't help it if she doesn't watch the Weather Channel!!
I gave her doll a Snuggie (enter trademark symbol here), and Avery would yank the Snuggie off. Well, it WAS her sock anyway...



At 7pm, Avery's mom and dad announced that it was time to go home. Being friends with four year olds has its limitations.

Lost and Found

Sensei Rudy from the gym has a big cardboard box called "Lost and Found." It's been growing and growing since I started torturing myself in his dojo last summer.
Once in a while I will casually go through the box and see if there's anything of mine or Shay's. Never. We take our clothing home with us. We like our clothing.
Sensei Rudy reminds people all the time that they need to look in the "Lost and Found" box for their things because he's getting ready to throw the stuff out.

So I went shopping. Sort of.

Got myself a new outfit.



"Kee yaa!"

Christmas = Food. Good Food.

Christmas Eve

I put the tree up today at about 5pm. Not kidding. 5pm. I meant to put it up on Monday or Tuesday, but time definitely got away from me. I would've put it up sooner today, but I spent 8 hours working on Steve's present. Not kidding once again. I honestly thought TOMORROW was Christmas Eve. But his present will definitely show how much effort I put into it. I've been planning it and designing it for a month.

The Christmas lights were put up last Saturday. That wasn't easy. There are parts of the roofline that I can't even reach while I'm standing on the top of the ladder. You know, the step that says, "Do not step on this it's too dangerous!"

Some electrical details had to be worked out, and once they were, the icicles came to life!!!



Oh, but there's more....

The metal cactus in the front yard has the big old style lights on it, and the dry river bed (strictly a southwest thing...) has lights in it!



And then there's the little details, like the 4 foot tall stocking, and the red festive ribbons, and the pine garland all around the front porch area....



Saturday it's all coming down!!

Wild Horses

I don't know why I haven't ordered this CD yet, it's been out for about a month or so. Susan Boyles' original performance last summer on "Britain's Got Talent" still brings tears to my eyes, she was so wonderful and so folksy. But her voice is that of an angel, literally.
Her version of the Rolling Stones' "Wild Horses" is amazing, and it makes Mick Jagger sound incredibly awful. Really!
Here it is on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yb3XAP0c8WU

I hope she has people taking care of her, because the industry that she's chosen to take part in will chew her up and spit her out. Just think of Brittany Spears, Lindsey Lohan, and Britney Murphy. Yes, I know, they're 20 years younger than her but they probably started out with 80% more street knowledge than Susan did.

I've got to get on Amazon now and order this CD.

The Pink Chaps

I've had my chaps for a few years, and they're just right. We don't ride when it's really cold, most of the time. But when we do happen to get out there, I'm sportin' the chaps.

And then BARBIE had to copy off me. Why can't she just be ORIGINAL???



I bought this Barbie for my niece, who hopefully will appreciate the fact that Barbie's trying real hard to be Shawna.

Here's what I was wearing my pink chaps for:

We lined up on motorcycles at a friend's house...



And paraded around town in the dark...



Looking at Christmas lights...



And since we were on the big red Budweiser trike, I got comfortable with my "to go" cup, and sipped on some good stuff. Not easy with a helmet...



We were the only ones wearing helmets; we usually are. We just aren't as hard core as the others. There's no helmet law in Arizona, so it's nice that people can make their own decision on that. We wear ours because:

1. We like our brains on the INSIDE of our skulls.
2. We don't like our cheeks to be all cold and chapped.

Ol' Mike, he's hard core, and he doesn't wear his helmet. See those red cheeks???



But when he rides at home in California, he puts on the helmet. They have a law for everything over there (I am pretty sure it's the law to wear a helmet on your bicycle, for crying out loud!) so when Mike comes to AZ he lets it all hang out.

Well, anyway, more Christmas lights:



I wish I could do this to our palm trees. They'd be decorated year round. I can't do it without a boom truck.



After the ride we went to the trendy biker bar. That's the biker bar where no one has patches on their leather vest for killing someone or orchestrating a stabbing. The yuppie biker bar.....
We had Friday night fish and chips, then held court. We had King Rick with us so that guaranteed a minimum number of visitors to our table. COOL!
Even Steve's brother stopped over. He was getting ready to play onstage with his band. Mojo.
Never make a face when I have my camera. It WILL get published....





Alas, even though I wore my helmet outside, I still ended up with red cheeks...



Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize...

Whaaaat???

Miss Olivia from Sesame Street died today.

Eventually I Figure Things Out

I went to the doctor in September, and listed some symptoms I'd been experiencing. Tests were done, not a lot, just a couple.
Nothing came from that. Doctor suggested I try the "Eat Clean Diet." It would make me feel better. Thanks. I'll just eat some celery and that'll fix everything.

A few months later, I don't feel better. I feel worse. The symptoms have worsened.
In fact the symptoms have gotten downright obnoxious. I get yelled at for my symptoms. Nice, huh?

So I googled.

Google didn't tell me to eat more celery. It said I have hormonal imbalances. It said to try a couple of different supplements.

I'll continue to eat my celery, but I think I'll try those supplements.

Thanks, Dr. Google.

The Leather Jacket

In 1990 I had short, curly hair. It was a perm, or what was left of it I am sure. I had just moved here the summer before from the midwest. I gave away all my winter clothing and jackets.
I was dating Shay's dad, and he gave me a leather jacket for Christmas. Which was good because I was told that I didn't need a jacket at all in Arizona. That turned out to be soooo false.
It does actually get cold here.

Now, the jacket didn't have a smudge on it. That was just the photo. It's rather old. Nearly 20 years old.

Yesterday in Phoenix, I took this picture with Steve and his cousin Sarah:



I was feeling a little weird so I didn't smile too huge. There was some uncomfortable stuff going on. But I still have my leather jacket!!!
The hair is curly on its own now, no perm necessary. Don't know why that is.

The jacket remains.

Not To Be Taken Lightly

Today I was sworn in as the new Republican Women's President. I haven't had much time to give it thought, but it is a bit of a big deal. So that makes me a big deal.
Just kiddin.

I will have better pictures when Doug and Linda email them to me (AHEM! Doug and Linda, if you're reading this...)

But here's what Buster took with my camera:



That's a local judge, Jill Davis, swearing us in at the podium. I'm the big-haired short person next to her. Then the rest of the Republican Women's board is lined up next to me.

Besides the installment of officers, we had a couple of little presentations. Linda (outgoing President) gave me a President's pin. Then Sue (outgoing 1st Vice President) gave Linda a pin. I got choked up and thankfully had time to breathe and get calm. I knew this was a big responsibility being trusted to me and I had to think for a few moments that maybe it would be much better if Linda just stayed President. Then I could keep my spot in the back of the room during the meetings.

Now I've got a gavel. I will only use it when things get roudy. Which means never. Or maybe I'll develop a horrible power complex and use it all the damn time!

The New Office

I was recently banished to the stinky room of the house, for my office. It looked like a dungeon.

The walls were flat white, with scuffs, stains, holes, and marks all over them.



I decided to give the room some flair....



The thunderbird sign is metal with just a little bit of the original paint left on it. Steve used to stand out on the dirt road near his home in NOWHERESVILLE, and this thunderbird was on a pole nearby. Four years ago we visited NOWHERESVILLE and stole the sign. We knew it would have a purpose someday.
I hung it in the office with some chain and hooks. I painted the two walls on that side of the room with brown and caramel, to match two of the colors on the thunderbird.

The two little metal coolers on the floor to the right are my babies. The dark colored one was Steve's family's cooler when they moved back from California to Southern Arizona back in 1967. I have fixed it up a little bit. The other one was a gift from Steve and it is in pristine condition. I figure it's from the 1940's. Who collects coolers? Me.

The curtain rod is actually a couple of metal poles that came off the bed. Steve bought two canopy beds for his daughters when they were "tweens," and the canopies just came down recently. Not very practical in a small bedroom. I glued two of the poles together to make a curtain rod, and then hung it from the ceiling with chains and hooks.

Oh and then there's the shelf. And the shelf decor.



I didn't want just any shelf. I grabbed a board from the garage, painted it, and hung it from the ceiling with, once again, chains and hooks. And then I got my collection of booze bottles. I knew I was saving them for something!!!!
I cleaned them, placed some Christmas lights around them, and there you have it. Decor. Along with the handicapped parking sign from the airport.

I'm thinking about adding an espresso machine and a couch to my office. That will make it the place for people to gather and exchange witty banter. Like on Friends. I get to be Jennifer Aniston!!!!

The Happiest Place on Earth

Recently on a trip to Phoenix I discovered the Ranch Market. I had asked some friends where there'd be a good place to get some different kinds of hot sauce, and they took me there.
The un-politically correct discription would be to call it the big Mexican store. It is the size of a Wal Mart, and it is all Mexican foods, pastries, cheeses, hot sauces, and it has the most glorious meat and seafood section.

So I took Shay and Steve to see this marvel, the happiest place on Earth.

First stop, the chicharrones booth. It's fried pork skin. Ick. But Steve loves that stuff, and we picked out a pound of it from the plexiglass box in the background:



Next stop, the glorious meat counter. Any cut of mammal or fowl can be found here. ANYTHING. So Shay posed in front of the bin full of chicken feet:



Then we spotted this atrocity:



It's a cow head. Fresh!

The ground pork is smiling at us here:



Oh.....the seafood. I've never seen so much wonderful treats. Octopus, tilapia, shrimp, and crab meat all calling to me....



And the fishies!!



We left with a big back of pork skin and some new hot sauces. And fresh guacamole. Ole!

Ring My Bell

What you can't see is the puffy dark green skirt that I'm wearing, along with the fur lined apron. I was Mrs. Claus!!!

It was 40 degrees, and I had to compete with the fundraiser across the sidewalk, the Vietnam Veterans' Raffle.

By the time my shift was done they had to pry that bell out of my frozen claw.

I Did This

It took several years for me to convince Steve that I could cut his hair. I mean, really, it's just a few moments with a shaver and the job's done, right?
He complained about how awful and negative his hair person was. She was in his face, yanking his head around like a doll while she clipped his hair and yelled about her delinquent daughters. One of her daughters was actually "smart" enough to get the word PIRATE tattooed on her inner lip. Yeah, that's smart.
My equivalent of that would be to have "Doo Doo" tattooed on my forehead.

Last year, maybe two years ago, I managed to get Steve to let me cut his hair. And I've done an okay job since then.

But Sunday. Oh, Sunday. My mind was apparently elsewhere. I began shaving his head in the bathroom. But after the first moment I realized I'd forgotten to put the #3 guard on the shaver.

So my mistake was very evident.



Bottom center, not the "hole" on the top right corner. That problem area is not my doing....

Christmas Capital of the World, Part Deux (2)

Today I hurriedly attended the annual Lake Havasu Republican Women's Executive Board Christmas Luncheon (okay, not kiddin, say that one three times fast) and it was located at Lorraine Lewis's house. She takes Christmas VERY seriously. So much so, that she's got life-sized Santa with a nearly life-sized Reindeer greeting people in the front room (I jumped, because Santa moved a lot)



She's got everything Christmas, which is certainly appropriate. Even the "Arizona Room" of the house has a big tree decorated with lovely ornaments and adornments...



And this was new, the dining table chairs had Santa hats. Lorraine's been shopping on the internet, doncha think??



Who has a Peanuts Christmas display? Lorraine. It's perfectly logical to her.
I sent this picture in a text message to my brother and he said he almost choked on his Red Bull. May have been something I'd written to accompany the photo:


Should anyone ever doubt Lorrain's dedication to Christmas, then they need only to visit her restroom. Check out the toilet paper.



I used it. Don't know if I was supposed to. It was rough... I thought John Wayne toilet paper was the only rough and tough toilet tissue!!!

I AM THE CHRISTMAS DOLL QUEEN. OBEY ME!!!!!

Bikers Are Just Not That Tough...

We participate every year in the Toys For Tots run. It is a 45 mile ride on the highway with a million other bikers, and each brings a toy to donate.
I put on my pink chaps, Steve actually puts on his long sleeves as well as his black leather chaps (yeeehaaa!!!) and we ride with the Yuppie Bikers. But we noticed this year there were more REAL bikers in the crowd. Bikers who have been on CNN and local news for their shenanigans.....
Like beatings. And shootings.
Real bike clubs that may or may not do things that are, shall we say, a little on the "alternative" side of life in order to make a living and support their motorcycle club? Kind of like those guys on Steve's favorite Soap Opera, The Sons of Anarchy on the Fox Channel.

Except these guys don't have a trailer on the back lot of Fox to do their make up and have some down time to play Nintendo and Wii.

So I was a bit intimidated. Okay not really. Who's wearing pink chaps to the biker rally? Me. Not taking ANY of this as seriously as the others. Thankfully nobody cared.

Steve found someone who was apparently very precious to him, enough to ask for a photo with him. I think he's a gun-runner. What do you think?



Leather, chains, Santa hats. Maybe in their memo they mispelled it to say Satan hats? I dunno. But there was plenty....



Nothin says toys, tots, Santa, and Christmas like a custom hog with a pitch fork for a rear seat....



Steve, (in chaps!!) Rick, and Robin checking out What's His Name's project bike.



All in all, the run brought in a trailer-load full of toys and I'm sure that made a nice dent in the need for toys in our area. I'm more concerned with the Food Bank (currently feeding 1,600 families in Lake Havasu) so next week I'll be conducting my own Food Drive. I think people should eat. And wear chaps.